Total Drama
by StarHeart Specials
Summary: Sierra, the world's biggest Total Drama fan, is on vacation in Los Angeles with her brother Devin and Devin's girlfriend, Carrie. They discover that greedy Chris McLean plans to raze TD Studios and drill for oil on the spot. Desperate to save the studio, the three friends join forces with the TD Kids to raise the 10 million dollars they need to save the studio. Based on The Muppets
1. Sierra's Beginnings

**StarHeart Specials presents...**

 **Total Drama**

* * *

The video starts rolling and we see a young dark girl with brown hair running around her backyard in a yellow swimsuit with a squirt gun in hand. She looked about six or seven years old.

 _That_ 's _me, Sierra Sanchez._

"Where-Where'd you go?," she looked around until she spotted a boy with short black hair about her age running by in green swim trunks, "Oh, there you are!"

Both kids started running and squirting water at each other.

 _I have the best life in the whole world!_

Sierra stood on a beach chair and laughed as she squirted the boy with water. He pretended to be hurt and fell down.

 _That's my brother, Devin. He's the best friend you could ever have!_

Devin waved to the camera.

* * *

The camera cut to Sierra and Devin being measured in a doorway by their parents. Devin was just a few inches taller than Sierra.

 _Yeah, yeah, I know what you're thinking._

Devin and Sierra put their arms around each other and smiled to the camera.

 _We could be twins!_

* * *

A map of a town in Kansas called Smalltown appeared with several different locations marked on it.

 _Here's where we live: Smalltown..._

* * *

A picture of Devin and Sierra's first grade class was shown.

One kid was eyeing Sierra strangely.

 _...the best town you could ever grow up in._

* * *

Next was a picture of them at summer camp.

Devin showed Sierra a badge he earned in knot-tying.

Sierra showed him a badge she earned in yoga.

 _Devin and I did everything together._

* * *

Devin and Sierra were shown getting measured again a few years later.

Devin had grown much and looked about twelve or thirteen years old.

Sierra however, hadn't grown at all, even though she had just turned ten. The only difference was that her hair was now in a ponytail.

* * *

Next was a picture of Devin and Sierra's baseball team.

 _And as the years passed, my brother was always there for me._

One of the players hit the ball and the crowd stood up and cheered.

Sierra held up her mitt as she followed the ball's path, "I got it! Devin, throw me! Throw me!"

Devin hoisted Sierra into the air, and she caught the ball just before it left the field.

The batter threw his helmet down in frustration.

 _We were a great team._

Devin caught Sierra as she came back down, "Great job, sis."

Sierra smiled, "Thanks, bro."

They high-fived each other.

* * *

Devin and Sierra were measured again a few more years later.

Devin was now sixteen years old.

But Sierra was twelve and still at her original height. Her ponytail went down her back and was now braided.

Sierra clenched her eyes and crossed her fingers as she was measured. But when she saw the results, she sighed.

Devin patted her shoulder.

 _Oh, don't get me wrong. It's not perfect._

* * *

 _Nothing is._

One day at the fair grounds, Sierra was in line for one of the rides. When it was finally her turn, she squealed and clapped her hands before running up to the entrance.

But the ticket man saw she was too short to go on and stopped her.

"Sorry, kid."

Sierra gaped as she watched the other people in line walk past her.

She closed her eyes and walked away sadly with her head down.

 _Even the sunniest days can have a few clouds in them._

She lifted her head up and saw her reflection in one of the funny mirrors. She looked as tall as a normal-height teenager.

 _'If I was normal,'_ she thought to herself.

She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up to see Devin standing next her, "The ride's bogus anyway," he brushed off.

Devin saw his sister's facial expression and knew what it meant: She needs him.

"Hey, wanna rent a movie?"

Sierra brightened up, "Yeah! Race ya home!"

* * *

They rented a DVD for an old 70's tv show called, The Total Drama Show.

They both put on their pjs and sat down to watch.

 _And, well, that night sorta changed everything._

The host of the show, Sam Small, opened a hatch in the 'O' in 'Show' and introduced the first episode.

 _"It's The Total Drama Show with our very special guest star, Mr. Steve Martin!"_

Sierra's mouth dropped open as she watched the show.

 _I found them..._

The show was full of people that were just like her. Shorter than most, humorous, _different._

 _...the Total Drama Kids._

They finished the DVD, but that was just the beginning.

* * *

Sierra's thirteenth birthday was shown next. Everyone sat outside in the backyard as Sierra blew out her birthday candles on her TD themed cake.

 _I guess you could say I was their number one fan._

Sierra opened one of her presents and gasped.

"Oh, Devin, it's an entire map of the Total Drama Studios!"

* * *

She picked up a smaller present. She shook it first before opening it.

She opened the box and gasped. It was a watch with Sam Small's face on it.

 _And they made all the difference._

* * *

A few months later on Halloween night, three of Devin's friends were waiting on the front porch of their house waiting for him and Sierra.

 _Because from then on..._

"Hey guys," Devin greeted as he walked up in his undead costume.

"Oh, hey Devin," they greeted.

Sierra stepped out from behind Devin wearing her home-made Sam Small costume, "Hi-ho guys! Yay!," she waved her arms and smiled.

But they just started laughing at her.

"Is that Sam Small? What is this, 1978?"

Sierra's smile faded at these words. She turned around and ran back home.

"Sierra wait!," Devin called out to her, but she didn't hear him. He looked bak at his friends and glared.

"What?"

"What's wrong with you guys? She's just a kid!"

Devin ran off to find Sierra.

* * *

 _...even on the worst days, I knew..._

Sierra put one of her Total Drama DVDs into the DVD player, and smiled again once she saw her favorite kids on the screen.

 _...that as the years passed..._

* * *

 _...as long as_ _there's Sam Small and Owen Wagaman..._

Devin and Sierra laughed as they watched the show.

* * *

 _...Swedish Sugar and Tyler Zeb..._

Devin was now twenty-two and Sierra was nineteen.

Sierra's ponytail was a few inches longer, and she had a few strands of violet hair.

 _...the world can't be such a bad place after all._

* * *

We finally arrive at the present.

Devin is twenty-five and Sierra is twenty-two.

Sierra had now dyed her hair completely violet.

"Good night, Sierra," Devin stood up and went to bed.

"Good night, Devin," Sierra stayed on the couch and watched the show.

 _And as long as there's Total Drama..._

Sierra yawned.

 _...for me..._

 _...there's still..._

Sierra fell asleep.

 _...hope._

* * *

 _Sierra began to dream about Total Drama._

 _Devin and Sierra were watching the show._

 _Spud suddenly jumped out of the tv, "Aaah. Bye bye!"_

 _They watched as Spud ran around the room._

 _"Somebody get him!," Sam jumped out of the tv, soon followed by the others._

 _Spud was shaking the lamp as the others ran wildly around the room._

 _"Spud! Hey Spud, come on. The show's about to start."_

 _"Show! Show!," Spud jumped back into the tv, followed by the others._

 _"Hey, Sierra, why don't you join us?," Sam asked before jumping into the tv._

 _Sierra got up and ran towards the tv, only to hit her face on the glass and slide off._

 _She got up and saw that the kids were gone._

 _"No! Wait! I want to be with you guys! Please let me in!," she banged on the screen, "SAM!"_


	2. A Trip to Los Angeles

"SAM!"

Sierra woke up in her bed, panting heavily.

Devin woke up to his sister's screaming and sat up in bed surprised, "Whoa!"

Sierra looked at her numerous Total Drama toys on the shelves and sighed when she realized it was just a dream.

"Sierra, are you ok, sis?," Devin asked concerned, "You're drenched in sweat. Did you have the dream again?"

"Ummm, no. Hey, so when are you guys leaving today?"

"Oh, um, just a couple hours from now," Devin checked the clock on the side table between their beds.

"Oh wow, Devin, I think it is so cool you're taking Carrie to Los Angeles. I can't believe you guys have been dating for ten years," Sierra smiled.

"I know," Devin sat up in his bed, "Yeah, she wanted to do something special for this anniversary, and she's always wanted to see Los Angeles so..."

"Hey, don't forget to send me a postcard from The Total Drama Studios."

Devin frowned, "Oh, yeah, I'm sorry. I can't do that, Sierra."

Sierra's face fell, "But, Devin..."

"...because," he held up three bus tickets, "You're coming with us!"

Sierra gasped, "Oh, Devin! B-But what about Carrie?"

"She's fine. She said the more the merrier."

"I-I don't know what to say! The Total Drama Studios are there, Devin! I can't believe this!"

Devin patted his legs, "Better get a move on. We don't wanna miss that bus!," he got up and headed for the bathroom.

"No way!," Sierra got out bed and laughed, "Who knows? Maybe Sam will be there."

* * *

"I wouldn't get your hopes up, sis," Devin called from the bathroom, "The TD Kids haven't put on a show together in years. I don't think they use the studios for anything but tours anymore."

"Nah!," Sierra walked in and climbed onto her step stool so she could see herself in the mirror, "I think that's just an Internet rumor. Like there's a country called Turkey, ha!"

"Sierra, how many times do we have to go over this? Turkey's a very real country."

Sierra didn't listen and smiled as she brushed her hair out of her face, "Wow, Total Drama Studios, I can't believe it!"

Devin and Sierra both picked up their toothbrushes and started brushing their teeth.

 _Devin: Everything is great_

 _Everything is grand_

 _I got the whole wide world in the palm of my hand_

 _Sierra: Everything is perfect_

 _It's falling into place_

 _I can't seem to wipe this smile off my face_

 _Both: Life's a happy song when there's someone by my side to sing along_

They both spit into the sink.

* * *

Sierra walked into the living room and looked at a Christmas picture from a few years ago.

Devin and Carrie stood together, while Sierra stood off to the side, smiling shyly.

 _Sierra: When you're alone, life can be a little rough_

 _It makes you feel like you're three feet tall_

Sierra struggled to reach the door handle, due to her size.

She climbed onto the desk.

 _When it's just you, well, times can be tough_

 _When there's no one there to catch your fall_

She jumped off and grabbed the handle. The door swung open and Sierra flew off and landed against the kitchen cabinet, "Whoa! Oof!"

The cereal box fell over and the contents poured onto her head.

* * *

Devin and Sierra walked out of the house, fully dressed.

 _Both: Everything is great_

 _Everything is grand_

 _I got the whole wide world in the palm of my hand_

 _Everything is perfect_

 _It's falling into place_

 _I can't seem to wipe this smile off my face_

* * *

 _Life smells like a rose_

 _Sierra: With someone to paint_

 _Devin: And someone to pose_

Sierra painted a picture of Devin.

* * *

 _Both: Life's a piece of cake_

 _Devin: With someone to pedal_

 _Sierra: And someone to break!_

Devin and Sierra rode a two-wheeler bike until it crashed into a tree.

* * *

 _Both: Life is full of glee_

 _Sierra: With someone to saw_

 _Devin: And someone to see_

Sierra sat on a seesaw until Devin sat down too fast, "Not again!"

* * *

 _Both: Life's a happy song when there's someone by my side to sing along_

* * *

 _I've got everything that I need right in front of me_

 _Nothing's stopping me_

 _Nothing that I can't be with you right here next to me_

* * *

 _Baker: Life's a piece of cake_

 _Devin: With someone to give_

 _Sierra: And someone to..._ heavy cake!

Devin gave Sierra a cake, but it was so heavy she fell down.

 _Female Customer: Life's a piece of pie_

 _Waiter #1: With someone to wash_

 _Waiter #2: And someone to dry_

 _Mechanic: Life's an easy road_

Sierra caught up with Devin and hugged him.

 _Sierra: With someone beside you to share the load_

 _Hippie: Life is full of highs_

 _Chinese Woman: With someone to stir_

 _Chinese Man: And someone to fry_

 _Butcher: Life's a leg of lamb_

 _Devin and_ _Sierra: With someone there to lend a hand_

 _Florist: Life's a bunch of flowers_

 _Devin and Sierra: With someone to while away the hours_

Devin took a bouquet of flowers from the florist and put it in his jacket.

 _Fish Stand Guys: Life's a fillet of fish, hey!_

Devin and Sierra glanced at each other.

 _Devin and Sierra: Uh, yes it is!_

 _All: Life's a happy song when there's someone by your side to sing along_

Devin started dancing with the townspeople dancing in the background.

 _Oooh..._

 _I've got everything that I need right in front of me_

 _Nothing's stopping me_

 _Nothing that I can't be with you right here next to me_

Devin ran up to the front doors of Smalltown Elementary School and walked inside.

 _I've got everything that I need..._

* * *

Devin walked into the classroom and sang loudly.

 _Devin: Right in front of me- -!_

He stopped when he saw the students looking at him strangely.

"Sorry, I got a little excited," Devin smiled sheepishly.

Carrie came out from underneath a fake car she used to teach car repair to her students.

"Ok, Carlos. Flip the ignition," she told the boy in the driver's seat.

Carlos did as told, and the engine started.

"And that's how you fix a 12-volt starter."

 **RIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNG!**

"Oh, you know what that means," Carrie smiled, "Spring break!"

"Awwwwww!," the class moaned.

"It's alright, we'll be back to studying in two weeks."

"Yay!"

The kids packed up their stuff and left the room.

"Bye, have fun," Carrie waved as they left.

"Have a good break, guys. Hey, great job, Carlos," Devin told the boy as he walked out the door.

"Thanks!"

Once all the kids had left, Carrie smiled and turned to her boyfriend, "Hi."

"I got you these," Devin took out the flowers from earlier, only to find some of stems and petals broken, "Oh, sorry. It's probably from the dance number I was doing."

"It's ok. They're really sweet," Carrie took them and sniffed them.

"You excited for our big trip to LA? I have our list," Devin took out a list of things for them to do on the trip.

"Me too," Carrie took out a list similar to Devin's. She nearly squealed, "Oh, this is the most romantic thing ever! I've always dreamt of seeing Los Angeles!"

"I know, Sierra can't wait either. You don't mind that she's coming, right?," Devin frowned.

Carrie looked outside her window and saw Sierra sitting at the bus stop with the bags while the townspeople who had just been dancing earlier laid on the ground, exhausted.

"Um, no no, of course not. As long as we can spend our anniversary dinner together, that's all I ask."

"Totally. It's gonna be the most romantic anniversary dinner ever," he reassured, "I love you so much."

He kissed Carrie's cheek.

"I love you too," she smiled.

"I'm gonna go check on Sierra."

After Devin left the room, Carrie looked out the window and sang softly.

 _Carrie: Everything's great_

 _Everything's grand_

 _Except Devin's always off with his sis_

 _It's never me and him_

 _It's always me and him and her_

 _I wonder when it's going to end_

 _But I guess that's ok, 'cause maybe someday..._

 _I know just how it's going to be_

 _He'll ride up on a steed, get down on one knee_

 _And say, "Carrie, will you marry me?"_

Carrie frowned sadly as she watched raindrops run down the window.

 _Please_

She turned around and walked to the door, and the gardener stopped washing the window with the hose.

* * *

Carrie and Devin walked out the school, holding hands.

 _Carrie and Devin: I've got everything that I need right in front of me_

 _Nothing's stopping me_

 _Nothing that I can't be with you right here next to me_

As the couple walked up to the bus stop, the townspeople danced in the background.

 _Townspeople: You've got everything that you need right in front of you_

The bus to Los Angeles pulled up at the bus stop.

 _Nothing's stopping you_

 _Nothing that you can't do that the world can throw at you_

Sierra met with them just as the doors opened.

Sierra squealed and got on the bus, and Devin and Carrie followed.

 _Life's a happy song_

 _Leslie Feist: When there's someone by your side to sing_

 _Townspeople: Life's a happy song_

 _Mickey Rooney: When there's someone by your side to sing_

 _Townspeople: Life's a happy song when there's someone by your side to sing along!_

The bus drove away just as the song ended.

"Ok, they're gone!"

Everyone collapsed in exhaustion.


	3. An Important Plot Point

The bus passed a sign that read:

 _Now Leaving Smalltown, U.S.A._

 _We'll miss you!_

 _Population: 102_

Once the bus left, the population dropped to 99.

* * *

As the bus drove down the long road to Los Angeles, Sierra talked excitedly about the TD Studios.

* * *

"Hey Devin, what should we do first at Total Drama Studio? 'Cause I was thinking that maybe we could start at Owen's Joke Room, but- -Oh, no, wait wait wait. The lines might be shorter at Professor Mary Marie's Laboratory of Fun, so maybe we should start there instead. I just-I just can't wait!"

* * *

After a long bus ride, the trio finally saw the Hollywood sign.

* * *

After getting settled in the motel, they headed straight for Total Drama Studios.

The theatre lights were out and the sign said, _'Closed.'_

But it also said, _'Studio Tours.'_

* * *

They looked up at the old and rusty sign that read, _'Total Drama Studios,'_ with Sam's face underneath.

Sierra stood there in her Sam Small t-shirt, shaking in awe.

Carrie noticed her shaking and put her had on her shoulder, "Sierra, don't be nervous."

"Oh, I know. I just can't believe I'm finally here," Sierra smiled, _"The home of the TD Kids."_

* * *

 _Total Drama Studios_

 _Tours: **$1.** 50¢_

An Asian couple stood in front of them, talking in a foreign language. But Sierra was more focused on the studio itself. Or, what was left of it.

"Wha-What happened to this place?"

 _Studio Attractions_

 _Owen's Joke Room **CLOSED**_

 _Izzy's Cannonade **Closed for Repair**_

 _Rodney's Music Parlor **Under Renovation**_

 _Professor Mary Marie's Laboratory of Fun **OUT OF ORDER**_

The studio was now in shambles, and the TD Kids were nowhere in sight.

"Where is everyone?"

Devin frowned, "I don't know, sis. It's so- -"

An elderly tour guide suddenly walked looked over the group and sighed, "Ok, well, I guess you guys are it for today," he cleared his throat, "Anyway, welcome to the original Total Drama Studio, where dreams can some true."

He took a handful of confetti out of his pocket and threw it in the air. Devin, Carrie and Sierra coughed.

The Asian man raised his hand and spoke in a foreign language.

"Is this the Universal Studios?," the woman translated.

The guide nodded, "Yes it is."

Sierra raised an eyebrow.

"Ok, now if you'll just follow me, please."

* * *

He led them to the front of a small building, "Ok, this used to be Sam Small's office."

 _"Whoa,"_ Sierra gasped as she looked at the building.

"It's really the highlight of the tour. You should see it sometime."

Sierra looked at him confused.

"Ok, this next building is where they kept the rope and the medium-gauge wire for the productions. Let's go take a look."

Devin patted his sister's shoulder, "Come on, sis."

Sierra began to follow him, but she stopped and looked back at the office.

 _'Maybe I will see it,'_ she walked back to the front door.

* * *

Sierra slowly opened the door and checked to make sure nobody was inside. She walked in and closed the door behind her.

 _"Wow!,"_ she whispered.

She looked around the room in awe. There were pictures of Sam and the other Kids on the walls, Sam's first tuxedo, his old banjos, and front page newspaper stories.

Suddenly, she heard the sound of a doorknob rattling. She looked behind her and saw a silhouette in the back door.

She gasped and quickly hid underneath one of the desk tables.

The door opened and two elderly men walked in. Sierra recognized them as Gerry and Pete, two hecklers who hated everything about Total Drama.

With them was millionaire Chris McLean, Ennui Eanni, and Ryan Rawlings.

"There. Now this here is Sam Small's old office," Gerry turned on the lights.

"Or so we've been told," Pete rolled his eyes.

"Well, as you know, gentlemen, I've loved Total Drama since I was a kid," Chris said as they walked over to a table with a large piece of paper on it, "And what better way to honor the Kids of Total Drama then turning this wonderful studio into a Total Drama Museum."

Sierra gasped.

"I think I'll call this room, the 'Sam Small's Old Office Room.' "

"Oh, good one, mr. McLean," Ennui complimented.

"Oh, great idea. Fabulous," Ryan complimented.

"Now," Pete cleared his throat, "This here is the standard _**'Rich and Famous'**_ contract Sam signed thirty years ago, that contains..."

"The deed to this property," Chris finished.

"Exactly. Now, this contract is 100% ironclad, _with one minor exception._ If the TD Kids can raise the ten million dollars it would cost to buy the building before this contract expires, then they get their studio back."

"You know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you were reciting some sort of an important plot point," Gerry thought out-loud.

"Well, I hope so. Otherwise, I just bored the readers half-to-death."

"You mean half of the readers are still alive?"

They both laughed.

Pete smiled, "It's a pleasure doing business with you, Chris Mclean."

"Yes sir," Gerry agreed, "Come on."

The hecklers left.

"Goodbye," Ryan waved, "I love geriatric humor."

Once they thought they were alone, Chris smirked evilly, "Boys, _there's oil under this studio."_

Sierra tilted her head to the side and listened carefully.

"Yeah, I can smell it."

Ennui and Ryan sniffed the room.

"And more importantly, the geological survey says there definitely is," the boys nodded, "In two weeks, we tear this place to the ground and start drilling!"

Sierra's mouth dropped open in shock.

"Those little Kids. They think they're _so_ funny. Well, it looks like the joke's about to be on them," Chris smiled evilly, "Maniacal laugh. Maniacal laugh. Maniacal laugh."

Ennui and Ryan started laughing while Chris just said, 'maniacal laugh,' over and over.

Sierra gasped.

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

Sierra ran out of the office screaming.

"Sierra!," Devin yelled.

"Sierra!," Carrie yelled.

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

She screamed on the bus back to the motel.

* * *

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

She screamed _in_ the motel.

* * *

Once Sierra finally calmed down, as they drove around the city in a rental car, she told Carrie and Devin about what she had heard.

"So then, when they thought they were alone, he said, _'There's oil under this studio, see. I'm gonna tear it to the ground, see. Sweet sweet oil, see!'_ "

"People still talk like that?," Carrie raised an eyebrow as she drove.

"I think that's just how he sounded in my head. Either way, we've gotta find Sam! He'll know what to do."

"How do we find Sam? Nobody's seen him in years."

Sierra looked out the car window and saw a sign for Hot Star Maps right next to a hotdog place.

She gasped, "Stop the car! I've got an idea!"

* * *

Sierra, Devin and Carrie happily ate their hotdogs in the car.

"(Mouth full) These are delicious! Great idea, Sierra," Devin said as he ate.

"Mm-hmm," the girls nodded.


	4. The Third Greatest Gift Ever

They drove around different neighborhoods for hours with no luck. Pretty soon, the sky got darker and the stars came out.

"We've been doing this for a while, maybe we should call it a night," Devin suggested.

"Guys!," Carrie spotted something.

"We can't give up, Devin," Sierra told her brother.

"I know, but it's getting really late, maybe we should just go back to the motel."

"Guys!"

The two siblings turned to Carrie as she stopped the car, "What?"

"Maybe he lives there."

They looked to their right and saw a large gate for one of the houses. It had Sam Small and Dakota Milton's faces engraved into it.

"That's it," Sierra smiled.

* * *

They got out of the car and looked at the large gates.

"So, what do we do now?," Carrie asked.

Devin looked around for something that might open the gate, but found nothing. He looked through the gate and saw the lights in the house were off, "There's no doorbell, and the house looks empty."

"Devin, throw me over," Sierra suddenly ordered.

"What?"

"Devin, just throw me over already!"

Devin shrugged, "Ok."

Devin picked Sierra up and prepared to throw her, "Ok, here we go."

"One, two, three!"

On three, he pulled up Sierra's leg and an audible _crack!_ was heard.

Sierra winced, "That's good!"

Devin pulled up her other leg. _Crack!_

"Sorry," Devin apologized.

"No, it's good!"

Carrie studied the gate carefully before tapping Devin on the shoulder, "Guys, I think that's an electric fence."

"Carrie, it's _Sam Small_ ," Sierra reminded her.

"Ok sis, remember, head down," Devin told his sister.

"One, two, three!," they both counted down.

On three, Devin threw Sierra over.

 **BZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTT!**

Sierra fell to the ground after being electrocuted.

"It's an electric fence."

"Yep," Devin nodded.

As Sierra sat up, they saw her skin was partly burned and her ponytail was in the shape of a lighting bolt.

Devin's eyes widened at the condition of his sister, "Oh my gosh," he and Carrie ran over to her, "Sierra? Sierra? Sis, can you hear me?"

As Devin held her up, she spoke in a raspy voice, _"Throw me again."_

"No, no, I don't think that's a good idea."

"What kind of throw was that?"

Carrie looked ahead and tapped Devin on the shoulder, "Guys, I think there's someone coming."

 _"Excuse me?"_

 _Aaaaaaaaaaa..._

A bus for the Good Shepard Church Choir drove by.

Sierra's eyes widened. It was Sam Small himself.

"Are you ok? That was some fall you had."

Sierra passed out.

* * *

As Sierra recovered from her concussion, she could make out two figures standing over her.

"Hey, Sierra? Sierra, are you ok?," Devin asked as he and Carrie looked at her concerned.

She groaned and sat up on a couch. She looked around the room in confusion as she rubbed her head, "Where am I?"

"Ok, this is awesome. _We're at Sam's house._ "

Sierra fell over.

"Oh, jeez. Sierra."

"No no no no no," Carrie lifted her back up. She sat down next to her and rubbed her back, "You ok?"

Sierra looked around again as Devin sat on her other side, "This-This is Sam's house?"

She looked in front of her and gasped. Sam was sitting right across from her.

"Anyhow, what can I do for you guys?," he asked.

Devin spoke up, "Let me just say, this is an honor for all of us to meet you, sir. But my sister, Sierra, has some really disturbing news for you."

A small robot suddenly entered the room with a tray of canned sodas, _"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen."_

Sam frowned, "Not now, 80s Robot."

 _"Might I offer you a drink? Cap? New Quoke?"_

"Oh, good grief," Sam muttered, "Listen, not right now, 80s Robot, please!"

 _"Bummer,"_ 80s Robot backed into a vase before turning around.

"Watch out for the- -"

 _"Gag me with a spoon."_

"Head for the door."

 _"Grody to the max."_

80s Robot repeatedly bumped into the door, _"Ow. Ow."_

Sam turned back to the trio, "I'm really sorry about tha- -"

 **CRASH!**

 _"Ow."_

80s Robot broke through the door.

Sam cleared his throat, "Anyway, Sierra, what were you saying?"

"Yes, Chris McLean, the oil barren is- -"

"Yeah yeah. Oil barren Chris McLean, the wealthy philanthropist. You know, he's about to buy our old Total Drama Show theatre and turn it into a Total Drama museum. Isn't that great?," Sam smiled.

"No! I mean, uh..."

Carrie intervened, "What Sierra's trying to tell you is that Chris McLean has a secret plan to tear down the theatre and drill for oil."

Sam's eyes widened, _"What?"_

"The only way to save the studio is to raise, ten million dollars," Devin told him.

" _Ten million dollars?_ That-That's impossible. I mean the only way to raise that much money would be to," Sam paused and sighed, "Put on a show. And I haven't seen the old gang in a long, long time."

Sam stood up sadly.

"I guess everyone sort of forgot about us."

Sierra watched her idol questionably as he walked out of the room.

* * *

Sam walked sadly down the hallway.

 _Sam: Is there more I could've said?_

 _Now they're only pictures in my head_

Sam looked at numerous portraits of his friends on the walls.

 _That's why my mood is pretty grey_

 _Sometimes even kids have rainy days_

He looked at one of the Electric Mayhem playing music. The band consisted of Beardo Benson, Rock Rankin, Taylor Tucker, Zeke Zeck, and Spud Sawyer.

 _Remember when the stage caved in while you were rocking out?_

He looked at one of Swedish Sugar holding a chicken.

 _Who'd have thought your smorgasbord would be hard to live without?_

He continued walking sadly.

 _If we could do it all again_

 _Just another chance to entertain_

He looked out the window.

 _Would anybody watch or even care?_

 _Or did something break we can't repair?_

He looked at one of Izzy Cassidy standing next to her cannon in her stunting suit. Sam smiled. Izzy was one of his closest friends.

 _Your cannonball trajectory, it always gave me hope_

He looked at one of Owen Wagaman standing onstage telling jokes. Sam shook his head playfully.

 _They might've been unbearable, but I still loved your jokes_

He frowned again.

 _Is there more I could've said?_

 _Now they're only pictures in my head_

He turned around and began to walk away. But then he heard a familiar voice.

 _"I didn't do it, I've been framed! Ah! __Wocka wocka!"_

Sam spun around and saw the picture of Owen had come to life and was now talking.

 _"Izzy the Incredible will ride this baby again!"_

The picture of Izzy smiled.

 _"Es furn de shern dicky, es born de fin de chicky!"_

The picture of Swedish Sugar spoke in Swedish and kissed her chicken on the head.

 _"This legato tune is posolutely, most transparently bringing me down."_

The picture of the Electric Mayhem came to life and Beardo shook his head.

 _"For sure,"_ Taylor nodded.

 _"One, two and a half!"_

The band started playing a more upbeat tune.

 _Izzy:_ _Can_ _we do it all again?_

 _Owen: Make them laugh like we did then?_

 _Swedish Sugar: (Swedish) Back on stage where we belong_

 _The Electric Mayhem: We could harmonize for one more song_

The pictures stopped moving.

Sam walked over to a portrait covered by a sheet.

 _Sam: But I'm standing here_ _instead_

He lifted the sheet slightly, revealing the portrait was of Dakota Milton, Sam's old girlfriend.

He covered it back up sadly.

 _Now they're only pictures in my head_

* * *

Sam sat down on the couch, depressed.

"Well, it sounds like you guys aren't getting back together anytime soon," Devin frowned.

Sam shook his head.

"This is going to be a really short FanFiction," Carrie commented.

"But, Sam, you have to try," Sierra told him, "The Total Drama Kids are amazing. You give people the greatest gift that can ever be given."

"Children?"

"No, the other gift."

"Ice cream?"

"No no, after that."

 _"...laughter?"_

"YES! The third greatest gift ever!," Sierra stood up, "Sam, your fans never left you, the world hasn't forgotten. All you need to do is show them again!"

Sam thought for a moment, but shook his head no as he got up from his chair, "I don't think so, guys."

He sighed and began to walk away.

"Don't you see, Sam?," Sierra asked, "It's time to play the music."

"It's time to light the lights," Devin continued.

 _"It's time to meet the Kids,"_ Carrie sang.

Sam stopped next to his piano. He played a few bars of the Total Drama Show theme song.

Sierra watched him from the couch, "Please, Sam. _You're my hero._ "

Sam's ears perked up.

Sierra held up her wrist. She was still wearing the Sam Small watch she got for her thirteenth birthday, _"You're on my watch."_

Sam thought for a moment.

"Well, I guess," he turned around, " _We could try._ "

 _"We?"_

"Well, yeah. Listen, if I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna need some moral support."

Devin smiled, "Well, that's perfect. We're experts at moral support."

Sierra nodded, "Yeah!"

"Good," Sam smiled, "I guess if we're gonna go, we better get going. We've got a lot of kids to find."

"Oh, great! But wait, how do we find them?," Sierra asked.

"Didn't you guys read our first story?," Sam crossed his arms and smiled, _"We drive."_

* * *

They all got into Sam's long black car. 80s Robot drove while Sam sat in the passenger seat and Devin, Carrie and Sierra sat in the back.

Once they were on the road, Carrie smiled, "So, where do we go first?"

 _"I shall take the liberty of using my modem to locate the TD Kids,"_ 80s Robot informed.

"Ok, great," Sam smiled.

Suddenly, the car was filled with loud beeping and static, causing the others to cover their ears.

 _"Oh, stop it!"_

 _"Ah!"_

 _"Ow!"_

 _"In the name of all that's sacred, let it end!"_

Finally, it stopped.

 _"R-E-N-O. That spells 'Reno.' "_


	5. Getting The Gang Back Together

**Reno**

 **The Biggest Little City In The World**

 _"You have reached your destination. My guidance ends here,"_ 80s Robot spoke like a GPS as they arrived in Reno, Nevada.

* * *

80s Robot drove them to a very cheap-looking casino called, Pechoolo Casino.

 **PECHOOLO CASINO**

 **Appearing Nightly: Total Drama Tribute Band!**

 **"Drastic Talent"**

 **Featuring Original "Total Drama" Cast Member: Owen Wagaman!**

"Well, I guess this is the place," Sam shrugged as 80s Robot parked the car.

* * *

Sam, Devin, Carrie, and Sierra walked inside and immediately, they saw a sign for Drastic Talent.

 **Drastic Talent**

 **World's #1 Total Drama Tribute Band!**

 **Soom**

 **Dakoota**

 **Roodney**

 **Tayloor**

 **Spood**

 **Featuring Original 'Total Drama Show' Cast Member: Owen Wagaman!**

Then they heard a voice from the stage.

 _"Good evening, folks, and welcome to Pechoolo Casino!"_

They looked up and saw Owen Wagaman standing onstage with Drastic Talent.

Owen started singing as Drastic Talent played music.

 _Owen: Why are there such great deals on our hotel rooms?_

 _And continental breakfast is free_

 _Drastic Talent: (Breakfast is free)_

 _Owen: HBO in every room_

 _And free gas if you check in after noon_

 _Free parking for cars, not RVs_

 _Drastic Talent: (Not RVs)_

 _Owen: Our wedding chapel is 24 hours_

 _No marriage certificate is needed_

 _Drastic Talent: (No marriage certificate is needed)_

 _All: We're glad you found it: Pechoolo Casino_

 _The owners..._

 _Drastic Talent: Drastic Talent..._

 _Owen: And me! Cha cha cha!_

Little, almost no applause was heard for the ripoff of Rainbow Connection.

"Thank you, thank you. We'll be back in six minutes," Owen said as Drastic Talent walked offstage.

Sam walked up onstage and the others followed him.

Owen dropped his rubber chicken onto the stage floor and nodded.

Sam put a hand on his best friend's shoulder, "Hi-ho, Owen."

"Hi-ho, Sam," Owen brushed him off. Then he gasped and spun around, " _Sam?_ What are you doing here?"

"Well, I-I just wanted to tell you that was a great show. It was, uh, very informative."

"I do my best to keep it fresh every night," Owen shrugged. Then he noticed Devin, Carrie and Sierra, "Oh, I'm Owen by the way."

Sam's eyes widened, "Oh, I'm sorry, This is Devin and Carrie," he gestured to the couple who waved, "And this here is Sierra," he gestured to Sierra who waved, "She's a personal friend."

Sierra fell over.

As Devin and Carrie helped Sierra back onto her feet, Owen heard a gruff voice and looked across the room.

Drastic Talent walked in as Dakoota told them about a recent event, "So I said, _'What are you looking at?'_ So I punched him in the face!"

The other imposters laughed.

"Uh," Owen looked back at Sam, "Let's talk in my dressing room."

* * *

Owen led them backstage to his dressing room door, "Ok, here we are," he opened the door and walked in, "Make yourselves at home."

Sam walked in and his eyes widened when he looked at the room, which was pretty much the back alley of the casino.

"Wow. This isn't quite what I expected, based on your Christmas cards."

Owen rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "Um, yeah, about those..."

"Oh, but it's nice, and, airy."

 _"Maybe we should give them some space,"_ Carrie whispered.

 _"Hang on, I wanna hear what they're saying,"_ Devin whispered.

"...sixty-four shows a night can get pretty grueling."

Sam looked at his best friend seriously, "Owen, an evil oil barren wants to tear down our old TD studio."

Owen's eyes widened in shock, "What?! Oh no- -! I mean, uh, that's a shame," he pretended not to be affected by the news.

Sam frowned, "Hey, Owen, I'm sorry I haven't been in touch more."

"It's fine, Sam. Look at me! I'm living the dream!"

 **BOOM!**

Thunder boomed loudly just before rain started to pour.

"Oh no, not this again!," Owen panicked, "Quick, save the cushions!"

"The cushions?," Sam asked before Owen shoved a few into his arms and the boys ran under the canopy.

Sam frowned at Owen's poor living space.

"I'm sorry, Owen. If I'd known you were here in this place- -"

"It's alright, Sam. It's not your fault. We had a good run."

"Yeah, it's just that, well, we haven't seen each other in a really long time, and I just thought maybe we could raise the money to buy the theatre back if we all got together and put on one last show."

Owen's eyes widened, " _A show?_ ," he turned to Sam, "But I've spent years building a solo career. I have a whole new show-biz family that loves me."

Dakoota swung the door open, "OWEN! What the heck are you doing, _hibernating?!_ Next show starts in thirty seconds. We hired you, and we can _fire you,_ so get your butt in here now!"

She slammed it shut.

The boys flinched.

"They terrify me, let's go."

"Let's go," Sam nodded and they went inside.

* * *

The next morning, they went to Ohio. They arrived at a large plumbing business called, _Izzy's Royal_ _Flush._

"Watch out for the forklift, Owen," Sam warned.

"Oh, thanks."

Owen looked up at the sign.

"Wow! Izzy's doing really well!"

"According to 80s Robot, she's the richest plumbing magnet in the Rust Belt," Sam informed.

* * *

Izzy Cassidy walked down the hall in her black suit. She had her hair up in a bun and she was wearing glasses. She looked very serious. Several workers walked around her as she assigned them each a job.

"You!"

"Yes sir!"

"Order 28,000 tons of plumber's putty from Beijing."

"Right away, sir."

"And you!"

"Yes sir!"

"Send the 28,000 tons of Silly Putty back to Beijing."

"You bet."

"Oh, and you?"

"Yes sir?"

"A memo to the waterless toilet department."

"Yes."

"I don't care about the mess, just keep trying."

Sam, Owen, Sierra, Devin and Carrie watched Izzy walk down the hallway, looking very busy.

"Hi Izzy!," Sam waved.

"What the- -?," Izzy stopped in her tracks. She lifted her glasses and looked at them in shock, "Sam? Owen? This is a surprise."

"We need to speak to you."

Izzy put her glasses back on and groaned, "All right, have a seat."

She gestured to a line of toilets.

"Ah, thank you!," Owen smiled as he, Sam, Sierra and Devin each sat down on one of the toilets.

"I think I'll stand," Carrie quickly decided.

"No really, you should try one! Comfy."

Izzy raised a finger, "It's our executive line of used toilets," she put it down and crossed her arms, "Anyway, I'm very busy. I've got thirty seconds," she pointed to one of her employees, "Go."

He started a timer.

Sam frowned, "Uh, Izzy, I'm not really sure how to tell you this but- -"

Owen tapped him on the shoulder, "Sam, don't forget to mention the evil oil barren."

"Yes, Owen, I was about to. Just give me a moment, ok?," he cleared his throat, "Izzy, it would appear- -"

"Remember, evil oil barren."

"Owen, I'm going to get to that, please! As I was trying to say- -"

"Evil oil barren."

"Owen- -"

 **BUZZ!**

"Ok, time's up. Thank you, boys," Izzy began to walk off.

"Izzy!"

She stopped and turned back to them with an eyebrow raised.

"We're trying to get the old gang back together again," Sam told her, "We really need you."

Izzy crossed her arms, "My answer is no. Good day!"

Sam frowned and got off of his toilet, "Come on, guys. We should go."

They all started to leave, but Sierra stopped and turned back to Izzy, "I just wanted to say, when I was a kid, I saw you recite _Hamlet_ while jumping your motorbike through a flaming hoop, and it made me feel like I could do anything. Thank you."

She walked off, leaving Izzy very thoughtful.

As Sierra left, Izzy's pet chicken, Carly walked in. Izzy had hatched Carly from an egg and has been taking care of her ever since.

Carly looked at Izzy, "(Chicken) Izzy."

Luckily, Izzy could speak chicken. She looked down at Carly.

"(Chicken) You don't have to pretend anymore. I know what you really want."

Izzy glanced up at her hair. She grabbed the twist-tie holding her bun in place and pulled it out, letting her hair back down to her shoulders.

* * *

The five walked out of the building, sadly.

Sam turned to Sierra, "Good try, Sierra."

 _"Hey guys! Up here!"_

They looked up on the roof and saw Izzy standing on it with Carly. She tore her suit off, revealing her green top and skirt, "Ha ha!"

The others gasped.

"I've been wearing this under my suit every single day for years!," she grabbed Carly under her arm, "Look out below!"

She jumped off the roof, "Whoo! Apollo 13!"

They both landed in a box of packing peanuts.

The others rushed over, concerned.

Carly popped her head out. Izzy followed and grabbed the side of the box as she caught her breath. She wiped her brow, "Citizens of Earth, the Incredible Izzy is back. I pledge never to hold a plunger again!"

She took out a button that read, _**Automatic Destroy Plumbing Business Button.**_

She pressed it and a loud siren blared throughout the area.

"RUN! RUN! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

They quickly ran out of that place like there was no tomorrow. Luckily, they made it out just before...

 **BOOOOOM!**

Uh, yeah, that.

Everyone stood up, coughing and wiping themselves off.

"WOW! That was an expensive looking explosion!," Owen commented, "I can't believe we had that in the budget."

* * *

Next, they went to a celebrity anger-management class back in California. The class was outside in a very peaceful environment.

"So maybe if you look inside yourself, the person you should be most angry at, is you," the teacher told the students, "How have you been feeling? Any more control issues?"

Spud Sawyer was in the class and looked up, "In control," he said in a bored tone.

"Good," she nodded.

 _"Psst! Spud!"_

Spud turned around and saw someone in the bushes.

"It's me, Sam."

Jack Black (who was also in the class) noticed him and frowned, "Hey, we're having a meeting here, man. You're being really rude, kid!"

Sam and the others walked out of the bushes, "Uh, pardon us, please. Spud, I need to talk to you for a second."

"We're getting the Total Drama Kids back together. We need you to drum again," Sierra told him.

Spud's eyes widened, _"Spud drum?"_

She smiled, "Yep!"

Spud started jumping up and down, "Drum! Drum! Drum!"

The others smiled. That was Spud's way of saying, _'I'm in.'_

Jack Black put a hand on Spud's shoulder and whispered something to him.

Spud's smile faded, "In control."

"Good. I'm Spud's court-appointed sponsor. We don't use the _D-R-U-M word_ ," Jack Black whispered the last part, "It's his trigger word."

"His trigger word?," Sam raised an eyebrow.

Devin walked up to Jack Black, "Excuse me, mr. Black. I'm so sorry to interrupt, but it's very important to these guys that they get their drummer- -"

 **BANG!**

Jack Black punched Devin in the face and he fell over.

"Devin!," Sierra yelled.

Carrie quickly bent over to help him up.

Jack Black frowned, "It's my trigger word, too."

The teacher stood up, "Jack, we talked about this on Tuesday."

"Tuesday's another one of my trigger words!"

He tried to punch her, but he punched one of the other students by accident.

The teacher frowned as everyone started fighting each other, "Oh I don't think so!"

She punched Jack Black and he fell onto another student.

"Sorry."

As Carrie and Sierra helped Devin walk, Sam grabbed Spud's chain and led the others out, "Let's go, Spud."

"Bye bye!"

"Spud, heel!"

Jack Black got out from under a dog pile, "Go, Spud! Be free, man! But remember! _No drumming!_ "

* * *

As they drove over a bridge, 80s Robot spoke.

 _"Mr. Small, may I suggest we save time and pick up the rest of the TD Kids using a montage?"_

"Ah, great idea, 80s Robot."

* * *

Beardo, Rock, Taylor and Zeke were playing music in a subway station.

After they finished a song Beardo smiled.

"We greatly appreciate your financial support."

A cane pulled them out, "Whoa!"

* * *

 _"87.3 miles to go. 87.2- -"_

"80s Robot, do you have to do that?!," Sam yelled.

* * *

They found Professor Mary Marie and Ellody Edison working at the Large Hadron Collider in at CERN.

"We've been uncovering the secrets of the universe," Mary smiled.

Ellody was dusting the inside of a tube, until she was suddenly sucked up, "AH!"

They watched as she went through the tube and came back out as small as a mouse.

Mary picked her up and placed her in her pocket.

"I guess we're in."

* * *

Topher was working for a news station.

"Welcome to this week's edition of Everything Stinks."

He glanced next to him and saw the cane. It quickly pulled him out, "Whoa!"

* * *

Cody was working for Google.

"Bye, Lisa. Off to the TED Conference," he waved as he left with a MyPad in hand.

The cane pulled him out, "Whoa!"

* * *

Crazy Leonard was at Mt. Rushmore.

"Three, two, one!"

He pressed the plunger, and Abraham Lincoln's head blew up and was replaced with Crazy Leonard's head.

The cane pulled him out, "Ah!"

* * *

The car started to get pretty full.

"Think we should've rented a bigger car?," Rock asked.

* * *

They got a bigger car at Mad Man Mooney & Son Used Cars.

As they drove off, DJ James chased after them with a suitcase in hand.

"Hey, wait for me! I wanna help save the studio! I wanna go with you! Oh, not again."

* * *

Sam, Owen, Izzy, Carly, Cody, Topher, Mary, Ellody, Beardo, Rock, Taylor, Zeke, Spud, Rodney, Swedish Sugar, Devin, Carrie and Sierra sat in the bigger car while 80s Robot drove.

"Wow, I can't believe we're all back together. Even all you guys who weren't in the montage," Owen smiled.

Rodney frowned, "Yeah, how come you didn't use me in the montage? I thought my story was pretty interesting."

* * *

Sam, Devin, Carrie and Sierra found Rodney sleeping in a hammock on his front porch.

"Rodney?," Sam asked.

Rodney woke up, "Huh?"

"Wanna get back together?"

"Ok."

* * *

Rodney chuckled, "Classic."

"Anyhow, it looks like we've got everybody, so now we can plan our telethon and raise that ten million dollars," Sam smiled.

Owen looked over everyone and noticed someone wasn't in the car, "Not everybody."

"No, I think everybody's here."

"Where's- -," Carrie began.

"All good!"

"Da- -," Devin continued.

"All done here!"

"- -kota?," Sierra finished.

Sam sighed.

"Sam, we're gonna get Dakota, right?," Owen asked.

"Ok ok, you're right. We'll go get Dakota," Sam gave in.

 _"My Minitel tells me she is in Paris, France,"_ 80s Robot said.

Sierra smiled, "Well, then we'll just drive to France."

"You can't drive to France, Sierra," Carrie told her.

"Yeah, it's way too far," Devin frowned.

"Then maybe we should travel by map!," Owen decided.

Sam smiled, "Good idea, Owen."

Owen pushed the _Travel by Map_ button, and they were on their way.


	6. We Need You

They dropped off Topher, Mary, Ellody, Carly, Beardo, Rock, Taylor, Zeke, Crazy Leonard and Swedish Sugar at the studio before they headed to France.

They traveled across the U.S.A. and the Atlantic Ocean, until they finally arrived on the Mediterranean Coast of France.

They drove out of the water and pulled up onto the beach, alarming several bystanders.

Devin rolled down the window and took a deep breath.

Sam, Owen, Izzy, Cody, Rodney, Spud, Sierra, Devin and Carrie smiled.

"TO PARIS!"

* * *

They went to Vogue Magazine, where 80s Robot said Dakota was.

"Look at these ceilings!," Sierra awed at how high they were.

"Yeah, people must be really tall here," Owen guessed.

"Yeah, very nice," Sam nodded as they entered the front office.

There was a woman on her computer who didn't seem to notice them.

"Uh, hi there. Excuse me. Miss? Pardon me, ma'am?"

She finally noticed them.

"Hi there. We're here to see Dakota Milton, and it's urgent."

"Urgent! Urgent!," Spud yelled.

"Is it urgent?," she smirked.

"Very," Sam nodded.

"Let's have a look than, shall we?," she looked at her computer, "She has an opening in, early September."

"Early September? That's like six months from now!," Sierra frowned.

"That's nothing, once I had to wait a whole year for September," Owen told her.

The woman frowned, "She is the plus-size editor. She's a huge deal and extremely busy. You can't just pop in without an appointment."

"Ok, thank you," Sam thanked her and they all left.

"Close the on your way out," she told them. And they did as told.

* * *

Everyone frowned at their failed chance to talk to Dakota.

Then Owen noticed a large man with a mustache wearing a beret and a large coat.

"Guys!"

They looked at him confused.

"Kid Man!"

The other Kids smiled and nodded.

"Yeah!," Rodney nodded.

"That could work!," Cody smiled.

"Nobody notices Kid Man!," Izzy smiled.

* * *

The woman was still working in her office until she heard someone knocking on her door.

The door opened, and a tall 'man' was standing by the door frame, "Hello."

Owen was at the top wearing a beret and mustache. Cody's hands were showing in the right sleeve, while Owen's left hand was in the left one. Sam was the upper chest, Rodney was the waist, and Izzy and Spud were the legs.

She watched as 'he' walked in very wobbly, and audible grunting could be heard as 'he' walked up to her, "I have an appointment."

"Oh, ok. Um," she stood up awkwardly, "Could you wait here a moment?"

She left the room.

* * *

Dakota Milton was in her office. She had to choose one of three dresses for the front page.

"Decisions, decisions. Eeny, meeny, miny, mo. I choose," but she was too focused on her donuts, "You!"

She picked up the donut she chose and giggled as she ate it.

The woman knocked on her door before opening it, "Mademoiselle Milton?"

"(Mouth Full) Can't you see I'm busy here?," Dakota licked her lips.

"Of course. There's a, man here to see you. He _does_ have an appointment."

As Dakota finished licking her fingers, she looked up confused, "An appointment? _That's weird_ ," she muttered, "Well, why didn't you say so? Send him in!"

"Right away, sorry," she left to go get 'him.'

Dakota fixed her hair and waited for the door to open.

Kid Man opened the door and Owen chuckled as he waved nervously to Dakota.

 _"Remember, left foot, right foot,"_ Sam whispered from inside the coat.

"Hello," Owen greeted before he bumped into a lamp, causing the top to fall off.

"What the?," Dakota raised an eyebrow.

"Sorry, that looked expensive."

Owen struggled to keep his balance as Izzy and Spud walked towards the desk. They finally stopped and Owen tried to look professional.

Dakota tapped her chin, "You look familiar."

"So do you!"

Cody's arms swung in a full circle.

"Please, have a seat," Dakota gestured to the chair in front of her desk.

"Yes, we're going to have a seat now."

They moved over to the chair.

 _"No no no, don't sit down!,"_ Rodney quickly stopped them.

They stood back up, "Oh, sorry! Whoa!," Owen screamed as the entire waist spun in a full circle.

Izzy suddenly slipped. Her eyes widened, "Oh no! Message to head! Left leg in trouble! Going down! LEFT LEG GOING DOWN!"

Kid Man fell down.

"What?!," Dakota leaned over her desk.

Everyone got out of the suit and groaned in pain.

"Ugh!," Dakota banged her head on the desk three times. She got up and face palmed, "I can't believe I fell for Kid Man!"

Devin, Carrie and Sierra walked in and helped the Kids out of the suit.

"You guys ok?," Carrie asked.

"Is anyone hurt?," Devin asked.

Sam rubbed his head as he got himself out.

Dakota's jaw dropped. Her eye sparkled, _"Sam?"_

Sam looked up nervously, "Hello Dakota."

Dakota's mouth curved into a wide smile as Sam stood up, "Sam!," she got out of her chair and ran around her desk, "Sam! Sam! Sam! Sam! Sam!"

Dakota jumped onto Sam and they both fell on the floor.

"Kissy kissy!," Dakota started kissing his cheeks while the others watched.

"WAIT!," she suddenly stood up, "What am I doing?! I promised myself I'd never go back!," Sam stood up and brushed himself off, "I am woman! I am strong!," she glared at Sam, "You must leave at once! _Sors d'ici!_ "

They all started to leave.

"No no! Wait! Wait!," Sierra stopped them. She turned to Dakota, "Dakota! The Total Drama Studios are in danger."

Dakota's eyebrows shot up, " _In danger?_ Our studios?," she turned back to her ex, "Sam!"

Sam nodded sadly, "It's true, Dakota. And we need to do The Total Drama Show again. We need you."

Dakota crossed her arms. She turned to the others, "Before I decide _anything,_ I need to talk with you, Small," she glared at Sam, _"Moi de vous."_

The others stepped closer.

 _"Alone."_

* * *

Later that evening, Dakota and Sam walked around town, talking to each other for the first time in years.

"Dakota? Last time we were together, I said some things I regret," Sam began.

"No. No, Sam. You were just being honest. You never intended to marry me. Not even after I built us a _house_ where we could raise mini-kids and grow old together," Dakota crossed her arms.

"Well, who do you think's been taking care of that house all these years, huh?"

Dakota stopped.

"Dakota, why do you always have to be so overdramatic about things?," he finally asked, "You know, it leaves me no choice but to do things that hurt you."

"I am who I am. Why can't you just accept that about me?"

"Look, this is not about you and me."

"It's never about you and me, is it? It's always we. We this, we that. 'We' need you. You can't even say, _'I need you,'_ can you?"

"Dakota..."

Dakota frowned, "I'm sorry, Sam. But I have a life here. A life I've made for myself," she began to walk away.

"Dakota!," Sam called out.

"Just remember, Sam," she turned her head back to him, "I c _an't_ be replaced."

She turned around, and left.

* * *

Sam got into the car, where the others were waiting for him.

He closed the door behind him and frowned sadly.

"Sam? What happened? Where's Dakota?," Owen asked.

"She's not coming, Owen."

They all gasped.

"B-But Sam, we always worked together. We can't do this without Dakota. No one will give us a show without her."

"We'll be fine, Owen," he reassured his best friend, "We'll be fine. We just...We'll just have to come up with something else."

* * *

Dakota was back in her office. She pulled one of her desk drawers open and took out an old photo with a tear along the left hand side as if it had been torn. It was a picture of Sam in his tux from the wedding in _Total Drama Takes_ _Manhattan._

She sighed, _"Sam."_

She held the picture to her chest.

* * *

80s Robot began to drive them back home.

"Ok, I've got an idea. We need a girl that can sing," Sam decided.

"Sam, who could possibly replace Dakota?," Owen asked.


	7. The Telethon Pitch

They pulled up at the TV station the next day. Everyone was silent as the sound of metal scraping was heard throughout the entire car.

They went back to Reno and picked up Dakoota to take Dakota's place. But she was scaring them because she kept on sharpening her knife.

She looked up confused, "Hey, what's everybody so quiet about, huh?"

"...well, she's sorta like Dakota," Owen shrugged.

Sam turned back to his friends, "Come on, everybody. Let's go pitch our telethon and get Total Drama back on TV, ok?"

* * *

"No."

* * *

"No."

* * *

 _"_ _Ciertamente no."_

They cheered.

"That means no."

The cheering ceased.

"Uh, come on guys," Sam led them out of the room.

"Awkward," Rodney muttered.

* * *

"Listen, Sam, I like you. I remember you guys from when I was a kid," Veronica, the network president smiled.

They all agreed and Sam smiled.

"So I'm gonna shoot straight," she crossed her arms, "You guys aren't famous anymore."

Some of the Kids groaned.

"Yeesh! I wish she'd shot a little more curvy," Owen commented.

She stood up and walked over to a diagram of popular shows, "Take a look at this diagram the research department drew up," she traced the large circle in the middle, "This circle represents everything that's currently popular," she stretched out the paper, revealing a tiny spot far away from the circle, "And this tiny speck is you guys. So the answer's no. It's not gonna happen."

She walked over to the TV in her room and picked up the remote, "Take a look at the shows that are popular now," she turned it on, _"Punch Teacher."_

Punch Teacher came on the TV.

"Oh! I love that show," Dakoota smiled.

A Japanese game show host appeared on the screen along with two child contestants and a teacher in a guillotine.

 _"It's time to punch teacher!"_

And that's all that they really did.

 _"Finish him!"_

"It's my favorite," Veronica smiled.

 _"I just thought I could make a difference,"_ the teacher on the TV frowned.

Veronica sat back down, "I'm sorry, but in this market, you guys are no longer relevant. Have a good day."

Everyone sighed as Sam got out of his seat and walked to the door. But just as he was about to open it, he stopped and turned back to Veronica, "Before I go, I'd just like to say something. I think kids are smarter and better than all this junk, and if you- -"

 **SLAM!**

The door opened right on Sam.

Everyone winced.

One of the network agents held the door open, unaware that Sam was stuck behind it.

"Veronica, bad news. _Punch Teacher_ has stopped production. It's being sued by the Teachers Society of America," he frowned.

"What's their problem?"

"No idea!," he let go of the door and Sam fell down, "I just found out."

He walked over to the schedule and ripped off the _Punch Teacher_ time slot.

"What are we supposed to do with that 120-minute black hole in the schedule coming up in two days?," Veronica asked.

Then her eyes widened. She turned to the Kids who looked as if a miracle had just hit them.

"Ok, Kids. You've got yourselves a show."

Everyone cheered.

Sam smiled and walked up to her, "Thank you so much. You will not be sorry, I promise!"

"Ok, enough!," Veronica ordered.

The cheering stopped.

"One, no more going nuts in my office. These are new carpets."

"Yes ma'am," Sam nodded.

"And two, you need a celebrity host."

"Ok, whatever. Come on, guys, let's go!"

They all followed him out of the office, chattering happily.

Look out, world! Total Drama's back!


	8. The Old Place

**McLean Oil**

* * *

Chris McLean was in his office reading the latest issue of _The Economist_ and Ennui and Ryan were cleaning.

"Here, let me wipe that," Ryan offered and wiped one of the statues.

"You've missed a spot," Ennui frowned.

"I don't see it."

"Just a little lower."

Ryan then accidentally sprayed water in Ennui's face.

Ryan gasped, "Oh, I am so sorry. Did I get you?"

"Yes," Ennui groaned as he wiped his eyes.

Chris closed his magazine and turned to his henchmen, "Well, gentlemen."

They both looked up at him.

"It appears we have some competition on the Total Drama property. _The Economist_ says the Kids have gotten back together again."

Ennui's eyes widened, "The Kids got back together?"

"Oh, remember?," Ryan started singing one of the old songs from _Total Drama Takes_ _Manhattan._

 _Ryan: Together again_

Ennui smiled and joined in.

 _Ryan and Ennui: Gee, it's good to be togeth- -_

"Gentlemen, PLEASE!"

They both quickly stopped.

"No singing in my office!"

Ryan nodded, "Yes sir."

"But of course, it was all his fault," Ennui pointed at Ryan.

"Mostly his fault," Ryan pointed at Ennui.

"No matter," Chris brushed it off, "Point is, that studio and that oil belong to me. Yeah, those Kids are gonna be running home with their tails between their legs. Some of them, literally. That place is infested with animals. Maniacal laugh. Maniacal laugh."

Ryan and Ennui started laughing while Chris just said the words, _maniacal laugh._ Seriously, does this guy ever laugh?

"Yeah, that's a maniacal laugh moment," Ryan smiled.

* * *

After talking with Veronica, the Kids drove back to the theatre.

Sam saw the studio up ahead and nodded, "Ok, this is it. 80s Robot, let's park around the back."

* * *

They all walked up to the backstage door for the theatre.

Rodney cut off the chains on the door with wire cutters and stood back as Sam walked up to it.

Sam carefully took down the caution tape and pushed the door open.

* * *

The theatre was definitely not what it used to be. It had not been touched in years, the whole thing was just filthy.

Old memories flashed through Sam's head as he walked into the old theatre.

 _"It's The Total Drama Show with our special guest star, mr. Bob Hope!"_

 _"...time once again for Children's Hospital, the continuing story of..."_

 _"And now, Kids in Space!"_

Sierra looked around the theatre in awe as she, Devin, Carrie and the other Kids walked in.

"Devin, can you believe it?," she whispered, _"The Total Drama theatre."_

Devin patted her shoulder, "Yeah."

Sam stood on an old stool and smiled, "Welcome back, everyone!"

They all thanked him.

"Look, I know the old place isn't quite at its best right now."

"Yeah, who cancelled the maid service?," Rock joked. He laughed at his own joke.

"But don't worry, we'll be fine," Sam reassured.

"Uh, Sam?," Owen looked around the theatre, "There's no way we can rehearse with a place like this!"

Devin's eyes widened, "Wait, Sam, don't say another word. Carrie, Sierra and I would be happy to help you rebuild the theatre," he put an arm around his sister and his girlfriend, "And honestly, it would be an honor for all three of us."

Sierra nodded, "It would."

"Ok then, let's clean this place up!," Sam announced.

Everyone cheered.

* * *

Cody hummed quietly as he swept the floor with an old broom.

"This is boring," Sam commented as they watched Cody.

"Don't you guys remember? You're Total Drama! You do this to music!," Sierra reminded them.

Beardo smiled, "Well alright!"

He took a music player out of his hair and hit play.

 _We built this city_

 _Total Drama: We built this city on rock and roll_

 _Built this city_

Some of the Kids started singing along, with Cody in the center.

 _We built this city on rock and roll_

* * *

Rock looked under a tarp, "Hey Spud!"

Spud walked over, "Yeah?"

"Look what I found!"

Rock lifted the tarp, revealing Spud's old drum set.

"AAHH!," Spud ran away.

* * *

 _We built this city_

* * *

Taylor hit one of the curtains with a broom to get the dust out.

Carrie lifted a pice of wood while Noah sat on the other end.

 _Sierra: (Whistles along)_

 _We built this city on rock and roll_

 _Built this city_

 _We built this city on rock and roll_

As Sierra and Devin scrubbed the walls, Sierra whistled along to the song. And she was very good at it, I might add.

* * *

Cody opened the broom closet and saw someone inside, "Brody?"

Brody was in the closet, dusting until he heard Cody. He smiled and walked up to him, "Cody! Great to see you! Where's everybody been?"

Cody's eyes widened.

* * *

Sam went into his old office and looked through his old list of phone numbers.

 _"Celebrity, celebrity, celebrity!"_

Sam dialed the number.

"Hello? Yes, can I speak with President Carter, please? Oh, he moved? Well, you wouldn't happen to have a number where I can reach- -Hello?"

* * *

Devin walked into one of the rooms, "Hey Sierra, I thought we were gonna clean the balcony."

But Sierra wasn't listening because she and Owen were cleaning the support beams.

"You're doing a great job, pal," Owen complimented.

Sierra smiled, "No, you're doing a great job. Wocka wocka!"

Devin frowned.

* * *

"Hey guys, look at these old photos I just found," Owen picked up a stack of old photos.

Izzy, Carly and Justin walked over to look at them.

Owen picked one up and smiled, "Can you believe that 80s haircut I used to have? I looked totally ridiculous!"

Both haircuts looked exactly the same.

* * *

 _Don't you remember?_

 _We built this city_

* * *

"Yes, it's Sam. Small. Can you come to our celebrity telethon this weekend? Sure, sure, I understand."

 _We built this city on rock and roll_

* * *

 _We built this city_

Carly and the other chickens cleaned the chairs in the audience with their feathers.

* * *

 _We built this city on rock and roll_

Courtney, Lindsay and Beth skated across the floor with scrubbing brushes on their feet as they cleaned the floor.

Rodney worked on fixing a hole that the chandelier left in the floor when it fell.

* * *

Swedish Sugar opened the old fridge and saw food that was old and rotten. And _really_ stinky.

She took out a blowtorch, "Fay helloo to my hittle froond!"

That's Sugar for, _"Say hello to my little friend!"_

She turned on the blowtorch and burned all the food to ashes.

 _We built this city_

"There goos doonner," she chuckled.

 _"There goes dinner."_

* * *

 _We built this city on rock and roll_

DJ handed a small lamp shade to Carrie and she put on one of the theatre lights.

 _We built this city_

 _Carrie: (Vocalizes)_

* * *

 _We built this city on rock and roll_

Ellody and Mary had brought out their old vacuum bot to help them clean.

Ellody was operating the remote, when suddenly it broke.

The bot started beeping rapidly.

"Oh dear."

* * *

 _We built this city_

"AAHH!"

They both ran quickly to get away from the out-of-control bot.

* * *

Sam had gone through all of his celebrity phone numbers, and none of them wanted to host the show.

* * *

 _We built this city on rock and roll!_

The theatre looked as good as new.

"Wow!," Sam looked around the theatre, amazed, "Great job, everybody!"

"Oh hey, Sam," Devin called him over as he and Carrie finished cleaning the costume rack, "Listen, have a great night, and I just want you to know, Sierra and I are great sewers, so we'll have those costumes ready for you in no time."

"Good. You two have a great night," Sam walked off.

"Ok, thank you!"

"Bye!," Carrie waved. She turned to her boyfriend, "Devin, I was kinda hoping we could go to the beach tomorrow or see the Hollywood Sign."

"We'll have plenty of time for all that stuff. It's just, right now, _I don't wanna leave Sierra,_ " Devin whispered, "She needs me."

"I don't know, she seems pretty happy."

Devin turned around and saw Owen teaching Sierra how to use his rubber chicken.

"Yeah, like that."

"Oh, ok," Sierra nodded.

"Now you."

Sierra waved the chicken in the air.

"Yeah, that's it! Great job!"

He and Sierra laughed.

Devin turned back to Carrie, "Well, just one more day, ok? And then I'm all yours. Tell you what, why don't you get a head start on sightseeing tomorrow, and then I'll be waiting for you when you get back."

"Ok, just don't forget about me."

Devin scoffed, "Never."

"We're still on for dinner Friday, right?"

"Yeah, of course."

After Owen left, Sierra began to walk off until she heard someone.

"Oh, Sierra!," Sam walked up to her.

"Oh! Yes, Sam," Sierra turned to him.

"Hey listen, Sierra, I just want you to know that none of this would've happened without you, so thank you."

"Ah, well..."

"Oh, and welcome aboard," Sam walked off, "Goodnight, everyone! Just sleep wherever you can find a spot!"

Sierra stood still, almost frozen in place.

 _"Welcome aboard?"_

* * *

It was nighttime, and everyone in the theatre was asleep.

Izzy and the chickens were asleep above the stage lights while everyone else slept in hammocks.

Well, almost all of them.

Owen and Sam were wide awake, looking at the stars through a hole in the roof.

"Hey Sam, you awake?"

"Yeah."

"What's the weather supposed to be like tonight?"

"I don't know, why?"

"I just don't want it to rain through the hole in the ceiling."

"The stars sure are pretty, though."

"We're gonna be ok, right? We haven't done this in a long time, and," Owen hugged his teddy bear, Beary, "I really don't wanna go back to Reno."

"Don't worry, Owen. We'll be fine. Look how we cleaned this place up today, you know? Same old team, all pulling together."

"I guess you're right. Good night, Sam."

"Good night, Owen."

Sam sighed and went to sleep.


	9. Rehearsal

The next morning, Sam called everyone to the stage.

"Ok, gather around, troops! Everybody, time to get this rehearsal going," he turned to Cody, "Cody, is everybody here?"

"Almost everyone, chief," the stage manager told him.

Dakoota suddenly pushed some of the Kids over and walked over to Sam with a handful of Dakota's old dresses, "Hey, anybody got any kerosene? I wanna take these old dresses out back and burn 'em."

 _"Hold it right there, smokey!"_

Sam didn't know how else to react. He looked across the theatre and saw someone he knew all too well.

 _"_ _Dakota?"_

Sure enough, it was. Dakota walked towards the stage as a bellhop wheeled her luggage on a dolly.

Dakoota smirked, "Well well, look what the cat dragged in," she dropped the dresses.

"Come on, keep it up, Maurice!," Dakota told the bellhop.

"Sorry, Dakota. You've been replaced, _permanently._ "

Dakota walked up onstage and walked up to Dakoota, _"Oh, yeah?"_

"Yeah!"

"Well, I don't think so...sister?," Dakota raised an eyebrow.

"Who are you calling sister, sister?"

"Oh, look, an omelet station," Dakota pointed across the room.

"Oh, where?," Dakoota bought it and looked.

"HI-YA!"

Dakota punched her to the ground.

"There's only one Dakota Milton, and she is _moi._ "

Dakoota got back up and glared, "Yeah, well you ain't seen the last of me! I'll be back!"

Dakoota ran off.

"Yeah, yeah. Heard of mouthwash?!," Dakota shot back.

The other Kids smiled and welcomed her back.

"Alright, alright, don't crowd me!"

They all went to their dressing rooms.

"Well, she sure hasn't changed," Cody commented.

Sam walked up to her, "Dakota? You came back."

Dakota glared, "I'm not here for you, Sam. I'm here for them," she gestured to the others, but they were already in their dressing rooms. She turned back to Sam, "And besides, when this show's done, I'm catching the next plane back to my life in Paris."

"Ok, Dakota, ok. Places for the opening number, everybody!," Sam walked off.

Dakota growled as she watched him walk away.

* * *

Sam saw Veronica sit down in the audience with her eyes hooked on her phone and a coffee in her other hand.

"Oh, good morning, Veronica."

"Morning, Small."

"Ok, everybody, let's take it from the top," Sam sat down in the front row.

The Electric Mayhem started playing the music, but they weren't playing together.

DJ ran onstage, "Whoa!"

"No, DJ, you missed your cue!"

"I know!," DJ slid offstage and crashed.

"There's kind of a rhythm to this, you know?"

Owen started his opening comedy routine, "Uh, oh! And if you like that one, what's the bear capital of the world? Mos-cow!"

Sam shook his head.

Crazy Leonard laughed and pressed the plunger.

 **BOOM!**

Only to blow up himself instead of the dynamite.

Sam peaked from his covered eyes.

"HA!," Crazy Leonard fell over.

The girls tried to do their verse, but they kept bumping into each other.

 _Girls: It's time to play the music_

 _It's time to light the lights_

"Two, three, four!"

The boys had a similar problem.

 _Boys: It's time to put on make-up_

 _It's time to dress up right_

Then B got stuck in the set and Katie, Sadie and DJ had to pull him out.

"Hey guys, stop! Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut," the music stopped, "What's the problem?"

"We can't keep time without the drums, man! We need drums!," Rock told his boss.

Spud growled.

Rock's eyes widened and he turned to his friend, "Oh, sorry Spud."

"No drums! No drums! Jack Black said no drums!," Spud ran off.

"Spud, heel! Sit!"

 _"In control."_

Sam sighed, "Who's next?," he looked behind him, "Oh."

He walked over to Sierra, who was fixing one of the curtains.

"Hey Sierra?"

"Oh," Sierra paused and turned to him, "Yes Sam?"

"You think you might wanna help us out here? Maybe do something in the show?"

Sierra sighed, "Sam, you know, you've been so nice to me, but I have to face the facts. See, the Kids of Total Drama are so talented- -"

"Hey guys, check it out! Fart shoes!," Owen was wearing shoes with a whoopee cushion tied to the bottom of each one. Each time he stepped, they made a fart noise, "Patent pending!"

Sam shrugged.

"And, I don't have any talent at all. The truth is," she sighed, "I can't perform with you guys. I feel like a phony just being here."

"Sierra, just because you haven't found your talent yet, doesn't mean you don't have one. If you look inside yourself, I'm sure you'll find something that you're really good at."

Sierra thought about what he said for a moment. She nodded, "Ok, Sam. I'll try."

* * *

Meanwhile, Carrie had been shopping around town by herself and her arms were filled with shopping bags and pamphlets. She decided to stop for lunch at _Mel's Drive-In._

She walked up to the hostess, "Welcome. How any in your party, two?"

"Um, no. Just the one."

She chuckled, "Alright, party of one, follow me."

* * *

Carrie sat down at her table.

 _Carrie: I look around, and once again, I'm on my own_

 _My man ain't here_

 _He's gone and done me wrong_

 _No one's gonna stop this girl from having fun_

 _I throw my hands up high and have a party for one!_

 _I'm having a me party_

 _A party by myself_

 _A me party_

 _I don't need nobody else_

 _I'm having a me party_

 _I'm the first and last to show_

 _There's no one at this party that I don't already know_

* * *

Dakota was in her dressing room.

 _Dakota: I'm not gonna sit around by myself and wait for you_

 _Haven't you heard?_

 _One is the new two!_

 _I'm gonna make a scene_

 _I'm gonna make a fuss!_

 _Tonight, I'm gonna celebrate with just the one of us_

 _I'm having a me party_

 _I don't need no invitation_

 _A me party_

 _I just love the conversation_

 _Me party_

 _I need no one else there too_

 _You do the math, Small!_

 _It means I don't need you_

* * *

Carrie frowned sadly as she thought of Devin.

 _Carrie: I won't lie, there are times when I wish I was with you_

 _There are days when all this girl can see is a world that's made for two_

 _At times like this, I feel all alone and feel like nobody cares_

 _But I only have to call my name, and darling, I'll be there!_

* * *

 _Both: I'm having a me party!_

 _Haven't I see me here before?_

 _A me party!_

 _I'm the last one on the dance floor_

 _Me party!_

 _A party just for moi_

 _Me party_

 _It's a solo mardi-gras!_

 _I'm having a me_ _party!_

 _I'm such good company_

 _A me party!_

 _I saved the last dance for me_

 _Dakota: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh_

 _Carrie: Whoaaaaaaaaaaa_

 _What happens at a me party, stays at a me party!  
_

"Excuse me, miss, are you expecting anyone else?," a waitress asked Carrie.

"Oh, no. No, it's just me. Party of one," Carrie picked up her menu.

* * *

Back at the theatre, Cody was going over the set list on his clipboard.

"Ok, cue 17 is Owen's intro."

"Hey, Cody? What's left?," Sam asked, walking up to him.

"Oh, uh," Cody checked his clipboard, "It's you, chief!"

"What?"

"Your duet. _With Dakota_."

* * *

Sam knocked on Dakota's door before entering. She was dancing in one of her many dresses with her back turned to Sam.

"Dakota?"

"Hm?," Dakota turned around.

"We're all out front practicing our acts and it seems that everybody expects you and I to do a duet, so- -"

"Oh, that's so lovely, but I'm afraid I can't. You see, I'm already doing a duet with my _new_ dance partner," she stepped aside, revealing Alejandro Burromuerto.

 _"Hola,"_ his smile flashed, "Now now, break it up, _por favor,_ we're rehearsing."

"Excuse us," Dakota excused Sam.

Sam sighed and left the room.

"Let's try that lift again, shall we?," Dakota walked to the other side of the room.

Alejandro sighed, "Ok, but on my count this time, alright?," he held out his arms, "One, two, thre- -No wait!"

Dakota started too early and they both fell down.

* * *

"Good grief," Sam muttered under his breath as he walked down the hall.

"Sam!," he looked up and saw Veronica speed-walking towards him, "There you are. I've been looking for you everywhere!"

"Nice to see you too, Veronica."

"Who's hosting? Did you find a celebrity?"

"Yeah, well, I've wanted to talk to you about that, because, uh, well, actually, I'm kind of a celebrity."

 _"You?,"_ Veronica scoffed, "No. Sam, listen. I will not air the show unless you find a real celebrity host. I will rerun _Benson_ if I have to."

Veronica walked off.

"Yeah, the thing is, Veronica, that's kind of impossible because the show's in twelve hours! _Twelve hours!_ ," Sam called out as she left, "I might as well just go ask Chris McLean to give us the studio back!"

Sam paused. His eyes widened. Maybe he _could_ ask him.


	10. Drastic Talent is Back

**McLean Oil**

* * *

"...and the Kids of Total Drama are like a big family. Well, and for us, that theatre is like our home. Which is why, in conclusion, _we humbly ask that you give us back our studio_ ," Sam finished telling Chris McLean.

Chris glanced at Ennui and Ryan.

"It would certainly mean a lot to us."

Dakota, Owen, Izzy, Cody, Sierra and Devin nodded their heads.

"Hmmm, well, mr. Small, let me see," Chris tapped his chin in thought.

Suddenly, he pounded his fists on his desk, spooking the others, and started to rap.

 _Chris McLean: I'm Chris McLean_

 _Mr. C Mc_

 _People call me 'Rich' 'cos I got mo' money!_

 _I got more cheddar than some super-size nachos_

 _Got cash flow like_ _Robert has dinero$_

He jumped onto one of the table and kicked off a few pictures as he walked along it.

 _I use more greens than Vincent van Gogh_

 _I make the baker bake my bread outta dough_

He jumped off the table.

 _No no, don't eat it though, it'll make you ill_

 _There ain't no flour in a hundred dollar bill_

He opened the door and four girls in dancing outfits walked in.

 _Chorus: He's Chris McLean_

"Oh yeah!"

 _Everybody_ _listen_

"Here we go now!"

Owen and Cody glanced at each other, wide-eyed.

 _Just how great it is to be him_

"Oh, it's great to be me, yeah!"

"Correct!," Ennui commented as he and Ryan danced to the music.

 _He's the greatest_

"I'm the greatest!"

 _You're the lamest_

"Whoo-hoo-hoo!"

 _Total Drama's a waste of time, oh, can't you see?_

"Uh-uh-uh-uh!"

 _Chris: Yeah, it's funny in a rich man's world_

 _When I need a piece of string, I use a string of pearls_

 _If something's for sail, consider it sold_

 _I got so much gold, I gold-plate my gold!_

 _I even gotta-gotta gold-plate my cat_

 _I don't regret much, but I do regret that_

 _If I could start all over, I'd do it all the same_

 _Except I wouldn't gold-plate little Twinkles again_

 _Chorus: He's Chris McLean_

 _Everybody listen_

"Yoo-hoo-hoo!"

 _Just how great it is to be him_

"Oh, it's great to be me, yeah!"

 _He's the greatest_

"Uh, come on!"

 _You're the lamest_

 _Total Drama's a waste of time, oh, can't you see?_

"Oh, it's great to be me!"

* * *

 _Chris: I recall a heartbreaking story about my own tenth birthday party_

 _Should've been a_ _glorious day for me_

 _I'd have been happy as can be_

 _But Total Drama was there to put on a show_

 _They started to dance, they were telling their jokes_

 _I didn't laugh, I didn't know how_

 _Then my friends, they all turned around, and they laughed at me!_

 _They laughed at me!_

 _I hate you children so!_

* * *

 _Chorus: He's Chris McLean_

"Yeah-ha!"

 _Everybody listen_

"Come on, y'all!"

 _Just how great it is to be him_

"Ooh, it's easy having this much green, yeah!"

 _He's the greatest_

"Hey! Sing it again!"

 _He's the greatest_

"Ooh! It never gets old!

 _Total Drama's a waste of time, oh, can't you see?_

The chorus girls left the room and went on a coffee break.

 _Chris: Little children, time to give up your dream_

Chris sat back down.

"The answer is no."

Sam was silent for a moment, "Well, uh, you could've just said that."

Chris turned to his henchmen, "Contract."

Ennui took it out and gave it to him, "Contract."

"Contract," Ryan repeated.

Chris unrolled the contract and it rolled of the desk.

"Nicely done, sir."

Chris took out a magnifying glass and inspected the contract, "You see, Kids, according to this contract, it's not just this studio you lose the rights to tonight, it's the Total Drama name itself."

Sam's eyes widened, "What?"

"And all Kids under the Total Drama name."

"Wait a second, what possible use could you have for our names?"

Chris pressed the intercom, "Send in, the Teens."

Owen gasped.

The door opened, and Drastic Talent walked in.

Dakoota smirked, "Told ya I'd be back. Well, now I am...back! And I see you've met mr. McLean, our new business partner."

"The Teens of Drastic Talent are a hard, cynical act for a hard, cynical world," Chris smiled evilly.

"Hey, Owen!," Owen turned his head towards Dakoota, "I want you to meet a friend of mine."

She gestured to Owen's new DT counterpart, Owoon.

"Wocka Wocka," he said darkly.

Owen shivered.

Chris stood up, "Your relics, Kids! The world has moved on, and no one cares about your goody-goody, hippy-dippy, Julie Andrews and Dom DeLuise hostin', singin' and dancin' act anymore! YOU'RE DEAD!"

They all gasped.

"And I just came to bury you. Now, get out of my office!"

* * *

They went outside and told the others what happened. And the Electric Mayhem couldn't stop talking.

 _"What?"_

 _"What is that supposed to mean?"_

 _"You said you were gonna talk to the man!"_

"Guys!," Owen silenced them, "Ok, so maybe Sam signed away the theatre and the Total Drama name, but as long as we have a celebrity host, we can still pull off a heart-warming, last-minute triumph, right Sam?"

Sam frowned, "Well, actually I don't see how we can, Owen."

"What?"

"Guys, the show's in six hours, and we're barely rehearsed, and, well, I couldn't get us a celebrity host."

 _"Oh no!"_

 _"What?"_

"I'm afraid Chris McLean's right. The world's moved on. I'm sorry I dragged you guys into this mess."

Sam walked away.

"Sam?," Beardo asked as they watched their leader walk away.

Dakota couldn't take this sitting down. She turned to the others and put her hands on her hips, "All right, listen up, you freaks! I didn't travel 5,000 miles to _not_ be on TV. All we need is one stinkin' celebrity, and by _any means necessary._ Now, Sam's gone. We're doing things my way from now on. LET'S MOVE!"


	11. Alone, Solo, Unaccompanied

Carrie sat on her bed in the motel reading _The New Roget's Thesaurus._

Devin opened the door and walked in, "Hey!"

"Hi."

Devin closed the door behind him, "How was your day?"

"Oh, it was great. I went to Guinness Book of World Records, _alone._ Then Ripley's Believe It or Not, _solo._ And then I ate lunch, _unaccompanied._ And then I walked back here, _independently._ "

Devin took out a bouquet of yellow tulips as he sat down on the other bed across from her, "Listen, I got you these. You know, to make up for the other ones. The broken ones."

Carrie smiled, "Thanks, sweetie," she took the flowers, "Listen, Devin. I was just wondering what the plan was for dinner tonight."

"Oh, I don't care. What do you feel like?"

Carrie's smile faded at these words, "Ok. That's fine. That's just fine. That's-That's perfect," Carrie walked to the door, "I'm going for a walk," she checked her book, _"Individually."_

She ran out the door and closed to behind her.

* * *

Sierra sat in front of one of the studio pianos. She whistled a few notes and then tried to repeat them on the piano, "Duh, duh, duh," she played a wrong note, "Ugh!"

Devin opened the door, "Sierra, hey."

Sierra turned to him, "Devin, oh, where have you been? I need you to help me figure out a talent."

He looked confused, "A talent for what?"

"For the show! Sam asked me to do an act in the show. _I could be a Kid!_ "

Devin was speechless, "Wow. Wow, Sierra, that's amazing."

"Yeah, but I need to figure out if I have a talent."

"Well, you know what? I'm sure you'll think of something, but right now I actually- -I need your help. I'm starting to get the feeling that Carrie's upset with me about something, and I don't know what, and I was hoping maybe you could talk to her for me."

"Devin, I'd love to help you out, but I can't leave the theatre right now. This is important."

Devin frowned, "Well, hold on a second. I mean, my life is important too."

"Yeah, but the whole reason we came here was to see Total Drama."

"No it wasn't! The whole reason we came here was to take a vacation where I took Carrie out to a fancy dinner because it's our tenth anniversary, and then- -"

Devin's eyes widened.

"Sierra, what day is it today?"

"Uh, _Friday?_ "

"Yeah. Yeah, that's it. This is bad. Sierra, this is really bad. I have to- -Carrie! Carrie!," Devin ran out of the room.

"Wait, Devin!," Sierra tried to stop him, but he just ignored her. She frowned sadly, _"I need you."_

She looked on the wall and saw an old promotional poster for The Total Drama Show.

She reached into her pocket and took out an old photo of her and Devin working at a car wash. They each held one end of their first buck as they smiled brightly to the camera.

She looked at the picture, and then the poster.

It was either Total Drama, or her brother.

* * *

Later that evening, Dakota, Owen, Izzy, Cody, Spud, Tyler Zeb, and Swedish Sugar rode in the car, wearing black suits while 80s Robot drove.

"Ok, is everybody ready?," Dakota asked.

They all nodded.

"Commence Operation Celebri-nap. Masks on!"

"Masks on!"

They all put on black masks that covered most of their faces.

"Except for _moi,_ nothing covers this beautiful face," Dakota smiled to herself.

Swedish Sugar gasped, "No maskin'?"

 _"No maskin'. "_

* * *

They went to the celebrity trailers to get Jack Black.

Spud panted heavily as he walked up to the door and knocked.

 _"I told you, I'm not done putting on my balls!"_

Jack Black opened the door angrily, wearing a blue jumpsuit with white balls.

He looked to the left, then the right, and then he looked down and saw Spud.

Jack Black's face softened and he walked down the steps, "Oh, hey Spud. What are you doin' here?"

"Acting. Natural."

Jack Black raised an eyebrow.

"NOW!"

Dakota threw down two ropes from the trailer roof. She looked down menacingly.

 _ **Milton**_

Dakota grabbed onto one of the ropes and swung into Jack Black's face, "HI-YA!"

Izzy took out the rope and grinned wickedly.

 ** _Cassidy_**

She and Tyler swung rope onto Jack Black's hands. They started rapping it around his body, causing them both to be swung along with it.

"Whoa!"

 _ **Zeb**_

They both slammed into each other and fell down.

Swedish Sugar did a karate kick.

 _ **Sugar**_

She landed gracefully and hit Jack Black with her rolling pin.

"HI-YA!"

Dakota knocked him unconscious.

 _ **Mr. Black**_

We've got a celebrity.


	12. Man Or Kid

Devin walked into the motel room wearing a tux and holding a bouquet of red roses.

"Carrie, surprise! I figured out why you're mad," he stopped when he realized the room was empty, "...at me."

Devin's smile faded as he walked over to her bed. There was a small note that read, _Devin._

He opened it up and read it.

 _Devin, I've gone home._

 _I love you, but you need to decide, are you a man..._

 _...or a kid?_

 _~Carrie~_

Devin was left shattered. He packed up and left the motel.

* * *

Devin walked out of the theatre sadly. It was raining outside, but he didn't really seem to care. He stopped in front of a jewelry store window and looked at his reflection.

 _Devin: I reflect on my reflection_

 _And I ask myself the question_

 _What's the right direction to go?_

 _I don't know_

 _Am I a man or am I a kid?_

His reflection turned into his kid self.

 _Kid Devin: Am I a kid?_

Devin looked around confused. He looked back at the window.

 _Devin: If I'm a kid, then I'm a very manly kid_

 _Kid Devin: Very manly kid_

* * *

Devin got on a bus back to Smalltown.

 _Devin: Am I a kid..._

 _Kid Devin: (Kid)_

 _Devin: ...or am I a man?_

He looked at his kid self in the bus window.

 _Kid Devin: Am I a man?_

 _Devin: If I'm a man, that makes me a child of a man_

 _Kid Devin: A child of a man_

He ran his fingers down the window.

* * *

Sierra walked into a circle of mirrors that were placed on the stage.

 _Sierra: I look into these eyes_

 _And I don't_ _recognize_

 _The one I see inside_

She stopped in front of one mirror and stared at her reflection.

 _It's time for me to decide_

 _Am I a woman or am I kid?_

Her reflection turned into her adult self.

 _Adult Sierra: Am I a kid?_

Sierra's eyes widened. She looked around her confused. She looked back at the mirror.

 _Sierra: If I'm a kid, well, I'm a very girly kid_

 _Adult Sierra: Very girly kid_

 _Sierra: Am I a kid..._

 _Adult Sierra: (Kid)_

 _Sierra: ...or am I a woman?_

 _Adult Sierra: Am I a woman?_

 _Sierra: If I'm a woman, that makes me a child of a woman_

 _Adult Sierra: A child of a woman_

Sierra closed her eyes sadly and walked away from the mirror.

* * *

 _Both: Here I go again_

 _I'm always running out of time_

 _I think I've made up my mind_

 _Now I understand who I am_

* * *

Devin looked up at the sky. He raised his fists and yelled.

 _Devin: I'm a man!_

* * *

Sierra looked up at the ceiling. She raised her fist and yelled.

 _Sierra: I'm a kid!_

* * *

 _Devin: I'm a child of a man!_

 _Sierra: I'm a very girly kid!_

 _Devin: I'm a childish man!_

* * *

Devin's bus drove past the Smalltown sign.

 _Population: 101_

* * *

Sierra looked at the mirror again.

She watched as her adult self faded away and her real reflection appeared again.

She looked at herself, and smiled.

* * *

Devin went to Carrie's house and knocked on the door.

She opened the door in her bathrobe. Her eyes widened when she saw Devin standing at her front door.

"I'm so sorry."

"Oh Devin!," Carrie hugged him.

"Carrie," he hugged her back.

* * *

 _Both: That's what I am_


	13. It's Showtime!

After 'picking up' Jack Black, Dakota and the others went to Sam's house.

Dakota knocked on the front door and Sam opened up. He looked surprised when he saw his friends.

"Sam, we have our celebrity! Mr. Jack Black has graciously agreed to do the telethon!," Dakota smiled.

Sam's face broke into a wide smile, "Oh my gosh, that's amazing. Where is he?"

"In the trunk."

Dakota gestured towards the car trunk, where Jack Black could be heard pounding from inside, _"Get me outta here!"_

Sam's eyes widened, "You kidnapped Jack Black? _That's illegal!_ "

"But Sam, what's more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Jack Black, or destroying Total Drama?," Owen asked.

"Kidnapping Jack Black, Owen!"

"Sam, listen," Sam turned to Dakota, "Whatever I may think of you right now, these guys are counting on you. You inspire them."

"What, to kidnap people?"

"To work to together."

"To kidnap people?"

"Mr. Small," Tyler spoke up, "We all agreed that a celebrity is not a people."

"And now that we have a celebrity, the show's back on. Come on, Sam. Don't let these guys down now," Dakota begged.

Sam looked at his friends, who stared at him anxiously. He turned around, grabbed the door handle...

...and closed the door behind him.

"Alright. Well, what are you guys still doing here, huh?"

They all gasped.

"It's showtime!"

Everyone cheered and ran to the car.

* * *

 **McLean Mansion**

* * *

Chris McLean and Ryan were having a fencing match.

"Nicely done, sir. As usual," Ryan commented.

Chris prepared to fight again, _"En_ _garde."_

He stepped forward and hit Ryan's sword. Ryan didn't even try to fight back.

Chris then hit Ryan's left.

"Ow!"

And his right.

"Ow!"

Chris smirked behind his mask and lifted his sword.

"Ok, very nice."

Chris hit Ryan one more time on the head.

"Ow!"

"Halt! Point left!," Ennui announced.

"Well done, sir. Thank you. Thank you very much," Ryan thanked his boss.

As Chris took his mask off, a commercial came on the TV.

 _"And coming up next on CDE, The Total Drama Telethon. Sam Small and friends host a celebrity-studded gala, with special guest, Jack Black."_

Ryan took his mask off and smiled, "Oh! He's pretty good."

Chris wasn't as happy, though. He took out his fencing sword and threw it at the TV, destroying it.

"We're going to phase two," Chris announced as he left the room.

"Yes, mr. McLean," Ennui nodded.

Ryan groaned as he rubbed his head from the pain Chris caused. Then he stopped and looked down at Ennui, "So do you think we're working for the bad guy?"

Ennui gasped.

* * *

80s Robot quickly drove the car back to the theatre.

"Hurry! The show starts in ten minutes!," Dakota yelled.

80s Robot made a sharp turn, causing everyone to be squished together.

"Where'd you learn to drive?!," Dakota said with her face pressed against the window.

80s Robot started to pull up into the theatre.

"Hang on, everyone!," Sam warned.

"WHOA!"

They arrived at the theatre just in time.

* * *

They quickly ran inside.

"Come on guys. Ok, listen up, everybody! This is it! Five minutes to curtain!," Sam announced.

Sierra walked up to him, "Sam?"

"Get ready for the opening number," he turned to Sierra, "Yes?"

"I need to talk to you about my act. I- -"

"Listen Sierra, I know you're gonna be fine. In fact, I'm sure you'll be great," he ran off, "Cody, who's up first? Come on, come on, come on! Fly in the arches!"

Sierra sighed.

* * *

 **9:57**

"Ok, first we have the opening theme," Cody checked his clipboard.

"Of course, yeah," Sam nodded.

"You come out and introduce Owen."

"Right."

"Then we have- -TV executive at six o'clock!"

"What?"

That's all Sam could ask before he was yanked away by Veronica, "The show is a disaster, Small!"

"Veronica," Sam frowned.

 _"Where's the audience?"_

Sam looked into the audience and gasped. There was _no audience._

"I knew you guys weren't popular anymore. I should have trusted that chart. There's no one here!"

Owen walked over to them, "What about Hobo Joe?"

"Who?"

Hobo Joe was sitting in the audience with a bag and a large metal barrel, "Why does everybody forget about Hobo Joe?"

"Just a second. Cody!," Sam called his stage manager over.

"Yeah, chief?"

"Cody, did you hand out all those flyers?"

"Of course, every last one!"

Sam turned to Veronica, "Don't worry, we'll think of something!"

She grabbed him by his tuxedo's collar and looked him in the eye, "You better."

She dropped him and walked off.

"Yoo-hoo! You've got audience. It's me!," Hobo Joe frowned, "What am I, invisible?"

* * *

Cody went into Jack Black's dressing room, "Jack Black. Fifteen seconds to curtain, mr. Black."

Jack Black was tied to a chair in his room. He finally regained consciousness and saw three Kids standing in front of him, two of which were using rollers on his tuxedo.

"Hi!"

"Ah! Where am I? Why am I so fancy? What are you doing? You're ruining my look!"

"Yeah, we'll see you out there! Good luck!," Cody left.

"Stop cleaning me!"

"You sure got nice teeth, Jack Black," one of them commented.

* * *

Hobo Joe and some other hobos sat in the audience, waiting anxiously.

 _"We're here!"_

 _"Start the show!"_

 _"Ready for some kind of entertainment!"_

* * *

 _"All right, good luck everyone, and cue Cody."_

* * *

"Ok, we go live in three, two..."

 **ON AIR**

Cody pointed at Sam who was standing behind the set.

 _"Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your host, Sam Small!"_

Sam took a deep breath and opened the hatch in the 'O'.

"It's The Total Drama Telethon with our very special guest, mr. Jack Black! Yay!"

The set was lifted and the curtains went up as the band started playing the opening number.

B, Katie, Sadie and DJ walked onstage and started dancing. They gestured upwards, and the girls came onstage.

 _Girls: It's time to play the music_

 _It's time to light the lights_

 _It's time to meet the Kids on Total Drama tonight_

They looked to their left, and the boys came onstage.

 _Boys: It's time to put on make-up_

 _It's time to dress up right_

 _It's time to get things started_

 _Hobo Joe: Why don't you get things started?_

Hobo Joe sang in the audience.

Gerry and Pete were up in the balcony.

"I always dreamed we'd be back here," Gerry commented.

"Dreams? Those were nightmares!," Pete reminded him.

They both chuckled.

All of the Kids appeared onstage.

 _Sam: It's time to get things started_

 _All: On the most sensational, inspirational,_ _celebrational, dramatational!_

 _This is what we call Total Drama!_

Izzy rode down in the 'O' in the title and blew her horn, only it sounded like a Tarzan cry.

* * *

Sam walked onstage in his tux, "Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to The Total Drama Telethon! We have TD Kids standing by to take your calls."

He gestured towards a larger balcony on the other side of the theatre, where several Kids were waiting to answer their phones.

One of them was even ordering a pizza, "Can I order a large pizza with ham and...?"

Sam cleared his throat, "Yes. And, boy, do we have a wonderful show for you, with our special guest, mr. Jack Black!"

A spotlight shone on Jack Black, who was still tied to a chair. He struggled to get out.

"I'm being held captive by these weirdos!"

"Now you know how we've felt for the last forty years!," Gerry commented.

Jack Black looked at the camera, "Somebody, anybody, please call the police. This is real rope!"

"Man, this 3-D is incredible!," Hobo Joe commented.

"It's real!"


	14. Special Guests

Back in Smalltown, Devin and Carrie were having dinner on Carrie's front porch while they watched the telethon on TV.

 _"Oh, and by the way, folks, we have plenty of room here in the audience, so if you'd like to come see the show live..."_

They both looked at the TV and saw that there was no audience.

"There's no audience in the theatre. Look, it's totally empty," Carrie frowned.

Devin frowned and went back to his meal, "Poor Sierra."

"Maybe we should go back."

"No way, Carrie. I've made my choice already. I just sang a whole song about it. I wanna stay here with you," Devin told her, "So thank you."

Carrie nodded before looking at the TV again.

* * *

 **Izzy the Incredible**

Izzy walked onstage in her bright yellow stunt suit, complete with cape.

"Ladies and gentlemen, prepare yourselves for the Incredible Izzy's most amazing feat ever," Izzy lifted up a bowling ball, "Head bowling."

"What?! No!," Jack Black had a bowling pin on his head, "I have not signed off on this!"

The hobos laughed.

"Drumroll, please," Izzy asked.

Spud took out a triangle and started dinging it.

Sam raised an eyebrow from backstage.

Izzy grabbed the bowling ball with her fingers and swung her arm in full circles.

"And a-one, and a-two, and a-three!"

Jack Black braced himself for impact...but nothing happened.

Izzy frowned, "Uh-oh. Uh, my fingers are stuck. Uh, not to worry folks! My elbows are double-jointed, so I'm fine. Stay tuned!"

The hobos laughed.

* * *

 _"Please make this end! Please!,"_ _Jack Black begged._

A family of four laughed as they watched the telethon from their couch.

"This is great. Call 'em," the dad told his wife and she took out her phone.

* * *

DJ's phone started ringing and he quickly answered it, "Hello? You wanna give us some money?! Uh..."

"Say yes!," Topher told him.

"Yes! We will take that money!," DJ laughed and hung up, "Hey guys, we got us some money!"

The tote board's number started going up.

And not only that, the audience finally started to arrive.

Hobo Joe got up from his seat, "Oh, yeah, tickets. Here we are. Tickets," one of them gave him a ticket, "Thank you. Five dollars to show you your seat. It's up there somewhere."

"HELP!," Jack Black yelled.

Izzy's fingers were still stuck and her arm kept on swinging.

Sam quickly ran onstage, "Ok, thank you, Izzy. Thank you very much."

As he spoke, a cane pulled Izzy off the stage, "Ah!"

"Ladies and gentlemen, we will see what happens with head bowling later in the show. Up next is our fabulous and funny Kid, mr. Owen Wagaman! Yay!," Sam cheered and walked offstage.

The audience clapped as Owen walked onstage, "Thank you, thank you, and thank you. Boy, did I go to a bad seafood place last night. The catch of the day was _salmonella._ Ah, wocka wocka!"

No one laughed.

Veronica frowned as she watched from backstage, "Ok."

Jack Black cringed, "Ah! That joke's like fifty years old!"

The audience laughed.

Veronica looked surprised.

"So how 'bout those shopping centers, huh? You seen one, you seen a _mall!_ ," he whispered to Jack Black, _"Take it!"_

"Make it stop!"

The audience laughed again.

Sam watched from backstage as the audience laughed like crazy.

"Wocka wocka wocka wocka!"

"Make it stop! No!"

Veronica smiled.

* * *

 _"We're not a team! I'm not with him!"_

Chris McLean frowned as he watched the telethon on six TV screens, "What is happening?! People are actually watching this?!"

He crushed a Blue Bronco can with his bare hand as he saw the tote board reach $28,000.

"Ennui! Bring the car!"

* * *

Sierra paced back in forth in her dressing room. She had changed into a strapless golden dress that stopped at her knees.

"What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do? What am I gonna do?"

She heard someone knocking on her door and stopped in place when Cody opened it up and walked in, "Sierra? Sixty seconds 'till you're on, Sierra. You ready?"

Sierra took a deep breath, "No."

She turned around and walked back inside but stopped herself, "Ugh! Yes, yes yes. Ugh! No!"

* * *

Sam was sitting at his desk backstage when he saw three people walk in.

Sam's eyes widened, " _Whoopi_ _Goldberg? Selena Gomez?_ And," the last one was Rico Rodriguez, "Hi there."

"Yeah, look, somebody said there might be a career opportunity here, something about saving a theatre?," Whoopi Goldberg asked.

"Yes, yes, of course."

"I don't really know who you guys are. My agent just told me to show up," Selena Gomez confessed.

"That's great."

"Were you on The Big Bang Theory?," Rico Rodriguez asked.

Sam shook his head no for a second but then nodded, "Yes I was! And let me show you how you can help."

He led them to the telephones.

* * *

Cody led Sierra to the stage, "And don't worry. It's just your one shot to go on live TV before millions of people to prove you have what it takes to become one of the Total Drama Kids. Good luck!"

Cody walked off, leaving Sierra in a nervous wreck as she watch the show from backstage.

* * *

Sam walked onstage, "Up next, I am proud to present a brand-new act to the show. Introducing, Sierra Sanchez!"

The audience cheered.

Sierra took a deep breath...

Sam looked at his new friend concerned when she didn't come out.

"AAHH!"

...and ran through the wall.

Owen's eyes widened, "Ooh, that's not good."


	15. Powerless

Sam cleared his throat and turned back to the audience, "It appears that Sierra has, stepped out, so it's- -Well, it's back to the days of yore down at the old barbershop."

The curtain went up, revealing Jack Black in a barber shop setting.

 _Topher: Hello_

Topher popped up from behind the table with a razor.

 _Rodney: Hello_

Rodney popped up with a small container of shaving cream.

 _Justin: Hello_

Justin popped up with a comb and a pair of scissors.

 _Ellody: Hello_

Ellody popped up with an axe.

The boys all looked at her wide-eyed.

She raised eyebrow until she realized what she was holding, "Oh! Oh! Sorry, sorry!"

She put it away and picked up a hairdryer.

 _Ellody: Hello_

 _All: Hello_

"Oh no! It's a barbershop quartet! Get me out of here!," Jack Black yelled.

 _Bop bop_

 _Mee mee_

 _Bop bop_

 _Mee mee_

 _Bop bop_

 _Mee mee_

 _Bop bop_

 _Me me mee_

 _Bop bop_

 _Mee mee_

 _Bop bop_

 _Mee mee_

 _Bop bop_

 _Mee mee_

 _Bop bop_

 _Me me mee_

They started giving Jack Black a haircut.

"Wait a minute. What are you doing?"

 _Rodney: With the_ _lights out_

"Is that Nirvana? Stop it! No!"

 _Ellody:_ _It's less dangerous_

 _Topher: Here we are now_

 _Justin: Entertain us_

"You're ruining one of the greatest songs of all time!"

 _Rodney: I feel so bad_

 _Ellody: And contagious_

 _Topher: Here we are now_

 _Justin: Entertain us_

"Careful around the ears!"

 _Rodney: An albino_

Rodney took out a white bag that read, 'ALBINO.'

 _Topher: A mosquito_

Topher took out a white bag that read, 'MOSQUITO.'

 _Ellody: My piccolo_

Ellody took out a white bag that read, 'PICCOLO.'

 _All: Bop bop_

 _Mee mee_

 _Bop bop_

 _Mee mee_

 _Bop bop_

 _Mee mee_

 _Bop bop_

 _Me me mee_

They leaned back Jack Black's chair and put the bags on over his head.

 _Topher: Yeah_

 _Rodney: Yeah_

 _Justin: Yeah_

 _Ellody: Yeah_

 _All: Yeah!_

They leaned it back up and took off the bags.

 _"(High pitched) Ah! That was hot!"_

The quartet gasped. Jack Black's head had been shrunk.

 _"Hey, what's going on here? Why is my body so big? What'd you do to my voice? I sound like a chipmunk! Wait a second, did you guys shrink my head?"_

The audience laughed.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Jack Black!," Sam announced as the curtain went down.

The tote board reached three million dollars.

 **10:45**

* * *

"Nice work, everybody. Courtney! You girls are up next! We might just make this," Sam went back onstage.

* * *

"And now I am pleased and proud to present those princesses of perfection, Courtney and friends!"

The curtain went up, revealing a pink, purple and gold colored setting.

As the music started, Beth rose up stage left, wearing a pink dress.

Then Lindsay rose up stage right, wearing a gold dress.

Finally, Courtney rose up center stage, wearing a purple dress.

 _Courtney: I see you driving around town with the guy I love_

 _And I'm like, forget you!_

 _I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough_

 _I'm like, forget you and forget him too!_

 _You know, if I was richer, I'd still be with ya_

 _Ain't that some shh?_

 _Lindsay and Beth: Ain't that some shh?_

 _Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a forget you!_

 _Look, I'm sorry_

 _I can't afford a_ _Ferrari_

 _But it doesn't mean I can't get you there_

 _I guess she's an Xbox_

 _And I'm more Atari_

 _But the way you play your game ain't fair_

 _I pity the fool that falls in love with you_

 _Lindsay and Beth: (Oh, he's a gold digger)_

 _Courtney: Well_

 _Lindsay and Beth: (Just thought you should know)_

 _Courtney: Oooooh_

 _I have some news for you_

 _Yeah, run home and tell your little girlfriend_

 _I see you driving around town with the guy I love_

 _And I'm like, forget you!_

 _I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough_

 _I'm like, forget you!_

 _Now baby baby baby, why'd you wanna wanna hurt me so bad?_

 _Lindsay and Beth: So bad, so bad, so bad_

 _Courtney: I tried to tell my daddy, but he told me this was one for my mom_

 _Lindsay and Beth: Your mom, your mom, your mom_

 _Courtney: Uh! Why?_

 _Uh! Why?_

 _Uh! Why baby?_

 _Oh! I love you!_

 _Oh! I still love you!_

 _Lindsay and Beth: Ooooh!_

 _Courtney: I see you driving around town with the guy I love_

 _And I'm like, forget you!_

 _I guess the change in my pocket wasn't enough_

 _I'm like, forget you and forget him too!_

 _You know, if I was richer, I'd still be with ya_

 _Ain't that some shh?_

 _Lindsay and Beth: Ain't that some shh?_

 _Although there's pain in my chest, I still wish you the best with a..._

 _All: Forget you!_

The song ended and the curtain went down as the audience clapped.

"Let's hear it for Courtney Clark and her fabulous friends!," Sam walked onstage.

The tote board was at four and a half million dollars.

* * *

Meanwhile, more celebrities had shown up to help answer the phones.

"No, I don't why I'm not hosting this," Neil Patrick Harris told the caller.

* * *

"So remember, folks, keep on calling and you'll help us reach our goal of ten million dollars by midnight. And if- -"

Suddenly, all of the power went out in the theatre and the tote board switched off.

The audience started murmuring in confusion.

"Uh, ladies and gentlemen, don't be alarmed. We will get this sorted out as soon as we can. Cody!," Sam ran offstage.

* * *

Chris McLean smiled proudly as he watched the fuse box crack and sizzle. He had used an axe to destroy it so the telethon would be cancelled.

Ennui, Ryan and Drastic Talent were also with him.

"Well, that's that. Nice try, Kids!"

Drastic Talent laughed menacingly.

Ennui frowned and glared at his boss, which was hard to notice since he was a goth.

* * *

"Sam, how are we gonna raise the rest of the money with no electricity?," Owen asked as the Kids stood backstage in the dark.

"Alright, calm down, everybody."

Sam took out a match and lit a candle.

"Is everybody ok?"

Everyone nodded and said they were fine.

Sam frowned, "Well, we can't do the show without power."

"Anybody got any bright ideas?"

"Not now, Owen."

* * *

"Ten-gauge gator grip."

Devin gave Carrie the grip and she clipped it into the fuse box.

"I love it when you talk shop," Devin smiled.

Carrie pulled the lever up and the theatre's power was restored.

* * *

The audience smiled and applauded when the lights came back on.

* * *

Chris frowned when he saw the outside lights come back on, "What?! How'd they get the power back?! We're gonna have to get up on that roof, and shut them down for good! Bolt cutters!," he held out his hand.

"Bolt cutters," Ryan handed him the bolt cutters.

"Ennui! You come with me," Chris told his henchman as he started climbing the ladder.

Ennui gritted his teeth, _"That's it."_

* * *

Chris and Ennui climbed the theatre TV antenna. Ennui looked down briefly and gasped at how high up they were.

"To the end of Total Drama!," Chris smiled and went to cut the antenna...

...but Ennui grabbed them with one hand and pulled them back.

"Ennui! What are you doing?!," Chris demanded as he began to have a tug-o-war with the goth.

"ENOUGH!," Ennui shouted and pulled them back, "Just because I have a terrifying name and an evil voice, doesn't preclude the fact that in my heart, I am a Kid, not a Teen! Looks like it's I who will have the last laugh!"

"What does that mean?!"

"It's an idiom, you idiot! Because you can't LAUGH!"

Ennui pushed the bolt cutters forward, causing Chris to fall off the building, "AAAHHH!"

"Oopsie," Ennui smirked as he watched Chris fall.

Chris landed on the pavement face-down, _"Ennui."_

Ennui laughed maniacally, "Now _that's_ a maniacal laugh for you!"

* * *

Sam walked over to Devin and Carrie after they restored the power, "Hey Devin, Carrie, how'd you guys get here so fast?"

"We traveled by map. We thought it'd be quicker," Carrie informed him.

Sam nodded.

"Hey, I'm sorry I bailed," Devin apologized, "I just, I realized you don't want the most important person in your life to slip away."

Carrie smiled as Devin put his arm around her shoulder.

Sam thought about what Devin said and his eyes wandered over to Dakota's dressing room door.

"Hey, Cody?"

Cody walked up to his boss, "Yeah?"

"Could you do me a favor and take over hosting duty?"

Cody's eyes widened, "B-But chief, I don't go onstage!"

"Just do what I do. Pretend that the audience is naked," Sam told him and walked off.

"Yeah, but I- -," Cody stopped in mid-sentence and turned back to the stage nervously.


	16. Approaching the Goal

Sam knocked on the door before entering, "Dakota?"

No response.

Sam walked in and noted the room was empty. He walked up to her desk and saw the drawer open. He looked inside and saw a plane ticket to Paris and a copy of a Vogue magazine with Dakota on the cover.

* * *

Cody walked nervously onstage after the last act ended.

"Ok ok. You are all naked."

He imagined the audience in their underwear.

"Well, sorta. Ok, great!"

* * *

 _"And now, ladies and gentlemen, please welcome a real hero..."_

Sam sat at his desk, his chin resting on his hand. He pulled open a drawer labelled, _'Beauty Rings.'_

Inside was an old photo with a tear along the right hand side as if it had been torn. It was a picture of Dakota in her wedding dress from the wedding in _Total Drama Takes_ _Manhattan._

He took it out and looked at it sadly, unaware that Taylor, Owen, Mary and Ellody were watching from the railing.

 _"You saved it? After all this time?"_

Sam's head shot up. He turned around and saw Dakota in her dress for the upcoming duet. She smiled and took out her photo of him in his tux from _Total Drama Takes_ _Manhattan._

They walked up to each other and put both pictures together. It was a perfect match.

Sam cleared his throat, "I guess I'm not that good at saying this kind of stuff."

"Yes, Sam?"

"Well, over the last week, I realized that," he looked up at her, " _I miss you._ And, _I need you._ And, maybe you don't need the whole world to love you, maybe you just need one person," Sam realized.

Dakota was touched.

"It's time for our song. And if we don't raise the money tonight, it might be the last time we sing together."

The others gasped from the railing.

"And, well, are you ready?"

"Oh, Sam," Dakota smiled.

* * *

The curtain went up, revealing Sam sitting on a log surrounded by water. He started playing his banjo.

 _Sam: Why are there so many songs about rainbows?_

 _And what's on the other side?_

 _Rainbows are visions but only illusions_

 _And rainbows have nothing to hide_

 _So we've been told and some choose to believe it_

 _I know they're wrong, wait and see_

 _Someday we'll find it: The Rainbow Connection_

 _The lovers, the dreamers, and me_

Dakota sat on a rowboat and rode it onstage.

 _Dakota: Who said that every wish would be heard and answered when wished on the morning star?_

She stepped off of the boat and joined Sam on the log.

 _Somebody thought of that and someone believed it_

 _Look what it's done so far_

 _Both: What's so amazing that keeps us stargazing?_

 _And what do we think we might see?_

 _Someday we'll find it: The Rainbow_ _Connection_

 _The lovers, the dreamers, and me_

The other Kids watched from backstage. Then they all held hands and walked out proudly to join the couple in their song.

 _All: All of us under it's spell_

 _We know that it's probably magic_

 _Have you been half-asleep?_

 _And have you heard voices?_

 _I've heard them calling my name_

 _Is this the sweet sound that calls the young sailor?_

 _The voice might be one and the same_

* * *

Spud sighed as he looked up at his drum set from backstage.

Rock walked up to him with a small case, "Hey bud, these are yours. I kept 'em for ya."

He opened them up, revealing Spud's drumsticks.

Spud reluctantly took them out.

"You know what to do," Rock smiled and walked off.

* * *

 _Sam: I've heard it too many times to ignore it_

 _It's something that I'm supposed to be_

Spud sat down in front of his drums and started playing, "YEAH!"

The rest of the Electric Mayhem joined in.

 _All:_ _Someday we'll find it: The Rainbow Connection_

 _The lovers, the dreamers, and me_

 _La da da dee de la loo_

 _La da da da da dee da doo_

Spud ended the song with a drum solo, "Drum! Drum! Drum! Ahaha."

Rock smiled, "You still got it, man."

Sam looked at Dakota, "Dakota? Will you stay, _for me?_ "

"For you, Sam?"

Sam nodded.

"Of course!"

They shared a kiss, not caring that the entire audience was watching.

" _Awwwwwwwww._ "

The curtain went down.

* * *

Veronica clapped wildly, "Whoo-hoo!"

Sam looked up at the tote board.

 **$9,252,350**

It kept going up, but they had just performed their last act. And with only a few minutes 'till midnight, they may not have enough.

* * *

Sam and Dakota walked back out onstage.

"Thank you, everybody," Sam said as the audience silenced, "Thank you all. Ladies and gentlemen, it's almost midnight and we haven't quite reached our target yet, but if you'll all just stick around, we'll be right back with our final act."

 _"The Total Drama Telethon will return after these messages."_


	17. Sierra's Talent

"Sierra?," Devin ran around backstage, looking for his little sister, "Sis, where are you?"

Sam and Dakota ran backstage.

"Listen everybody, the show ran short and we don't have anything else planned!"

Everyone gasped.

"We need one last act to bring us home. I'm gonna go check on Jack Black and see if he has any ideas. You guys see if you can come up with something. We have two minutes! _Two minutes!_ "

Sam ran off to find Jack Black.

"Ok! Think, think, think!," Dakota told everyone.

"What am I thinking, what am I thinking?!," Owen panicked.

Devin's eyes widened.

"Sierra! Sierra!," he continued his search.

* * *

Sierra sat on an old crate in the storage area. She sighed as she rested her chin in her hands.

"Sierra!"

Her eyes widened.

"Devin?"

Devin ran into the room.

"You came back!"

Devin sat down next to his sister.

"Sis, what are you doing down here? They just need one more act. You gotta get out there and help this guys."

"I can't. What if people laugh at me? I...I'd rather go back home to Smalltown. With you."

Devin frowned. He saw his sister's facial expression and knew what it meant: She needs him.

"Look, Sierra, you're my sister, and I'm always gonna love you, but you belong here, with these guys. Hey, you're the one who got Sam to do this. You're the one who brought everyone here together. You always believe in other people, but that's easy. Sooner or later, you gotta believe in yourself, too. Because that's what growing up is. It's becoming who you want to be. You have to try. Please, Sierra. _You're my hero._ "

Sierra looked up at her brother with wide eyes. She smiled and hugged him tightly before running out of the room.

* * *

 **11:55**

 **$9,730,247**

Sam ran back to the others.

"Ok, Jack Black's got nothing. What did you guys come up with?"

"Uh, Ellody and Mary could set the water bot on fire," Cody suggested.

"No no, we can't do that."

"I could break out the fart shoes!," Owen suggested.

"No no! That'll never work!"

 _"We're back in three, two..."_

 **ON AIR**

Sam's eyes widened, "Oh no!," he groaned as he put his face in his hands.

Suddenly, the lights onstage went dim and violins could be heard playing to beautiful whistling.

 _Oooh_

Everyone backstage looked up onstage, wondering who was performing.

 _Ooh ooh_

 _Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh_ _oooooh ooh_

"It's Sierra," Owen realized.

Indeed it was. A spotlight shone on Sierra as the violins played a more lively tune.

 _Ooooooooooh_

 _Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh ooh oooh_

 _Ooo-ooo-ooh oo-ooh oo-ooh_

Sierra started dancing.

 _Ooh ooh ooh ooh ooooh oo-ooh oo-ooh ooooh_

 _Oo-oo-ooh_

 _Ooh ooh ooh_

 _Ooh ooh ooh_

 _Oo-oo-oo-oo-ooooooooh!_

 _Ooo-ooo-oooh_

 _Oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oo_

 _Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooh!_

Sierra whistled on a note so high, some of the lights onstage shattered.

 _Oooooooh_

The music ended as Sierra came to the end of her performance.

 _Oo-oooh_

Sierra curtsied as the crowd broke into a standing ovation and started throwing roses onstage. Sierra caught a whole bouquet in her hands and smiled.

* * *

Devin smiled as he and Carrie watched from backstage, "She's all grown up."

The Kids applauded as well.

"That was incredible!," Sam commented.

* * *

The tote board started going up again, and was now very close to ten million dollars.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Sierra Sanchez!," Sam announced as he and Dakota joined Sierra onstage, "It looks like we're gonna get our studio back!"

* * *

Don Adora, the TD newsman, was up in the balcony as one of the phone operators.

"This just in: The Total Drama Kids are about to take back their studio."


	18. We're a Family

Chris McLean had gotten into Sam's car and turned on the ignition. He put it in reverse and knocked over one of the telephone poles.

 _"Help! I've been mugged! Alerting authorities."_

* * *

All of the phone lines in the theatre went dead. The operators couldn't finish their calls.

"Guys, my phone is dead," Selena Gomez said.

"News flash: My phone is also dead. Repeat, my phone is also dead," Don announced.

 **$9,999,999**

The Kids gasped in shock as the minute hand landed on the twelve.

 **12:00 AM**

 **RIIIIIIIIIIIIINNG!**

Their time was up.

The audience groaned as Sierra stared at the tote board in disbelief.

She failed. She didn't save the studio. She let everybody down.

Devin frowned when he saw his sister's smile had disappeared from the shock.

The audience suddenly gasped as Sierra heard footsteps approaching the stage. She turned her head and saw a beaten up Chris McLean walking towards them with an evil grin.

"I did it. I beat you."

The oil barren leaned down and looked Sam in the eye.

"Game over, Sam. You lost."

Izzy (Who's fingers were still stuck in a bowling ball) and Carly groaned from backstage.

Swedish Sugar began to tear up.

"Chickies!"

She quickly pulled three of the chicken into an embrace.

"Too late, Kids! I won! Turn that thing off!"

The camera switched off.

"The show is over!"

Owen groaned.

"But we were so close!"

He hit his head against the tote board in frustration.

 **$99,999.99**

The audience gasped at the new amount of money.

"...or not. It kinda makes me feel better, actually. I mean, we were nowhere close at all."

Owen laughed nervously.

"You artists formerly known as the Total Drama Kids are standing on private property. _My_ private property. And I'm telling you to leave. NOW!"

Chris barked at the Kids, making them flinch.

Sam frowned and turned to face his friends.

"He's right, everybody. He won. We gotta go."

He sighed and walked off the stage. The others soon, after a moment, followed him as well.

The audience watched sadly as the Kids walked down the aisle.

Small fart sounds were heard with each of Owen's steps.

"Not now, Owen," Rodney told the comedian.

The noise stopped.

"I can't believe this!"

Hobo Joe put his face in his hands.

Rock hung his head sadly as he lead the band down the aisle.

"Well, that's that."

Everyone walked out of the theatre, the door closing behind them.

* * *

Everyone stood outside the theatre, more disappointed then they had been for long time.

Sierra shook her head, "This isn't right. It can't end like this!"

"But what can we do?," Cody asked.

Sam walked up the staircase and stopped on the eighth step. He looked out into the crowd of Kids all gathered before him.

"Listen, everybody," he began, getting their attention, "we've got nothing to be ashamed of. And you know why? Well, because thanks to Sierra here, we tried."

Sam smiled down at his new friend, who was staring up at him with wide eyes.

"And if we failed, we failed together, and to me, that's not failing at all. And I don't care what anybody says. I don't care if no one believes in us, because I believe."

Sam looked down at Owen.

"I believe in you."

"Huh?," Owen looked up at his best friend, slightly shocked.

Sam looked down at Swedish Sugar.

"And you."

"Me?," Swedish Sugar pointed at herself.

Sam looked down at Dakota and smiled brightly.

"And you."

Dakota sighed lovingly and held a hand to her heart.

"You know, what's important isn't this building or a name. It's each other. So I say, fine, let's just start at the bottom and work our way back up to the top."

Everyone could be heard agreeing over each other.

"Let's all walk out through these doors with our heads held high. As a family."

Sam smiled.

"Because that's what we are."

Sam walked down the steps and began walking to the door. Everyone made a path for him as he walked slowly through the crowd.

Finally, he approached the door and rested his hands on the handle. He sighed and pushed the door open...


	19. A Finale

**FLASH! FLASH!**

 **WHOO!**

 **YEAH!**

Sam was greeted with bright camera flashes that caused him to shield his eyes. He opened his eyes and his jaw dropped at the scene before him.

The entire street was filled with news crews and cheering TD fans, some of which were holding signs.

Sam's mouth curved into a wide smile and he walked down the red carpet, the others following him out after hearing the noise.

The crowd was chanting loudly.

"To-tal Dra-ma! To-tal Dra-ma!"

Sierra smiled, "Alright!"

Sam, Dakota, Owen, Rodney, and Cosy stood at the front of the group, smiling at how many fans had come to celebrate their return.

Sam looked around in confusion, "Hey, where's Sierra?"

" _See?!_ "

They turned around and saw Sierra standing behind them with Devin and Carrie.

"Your fans! They love you guys!"

Sam smiled, "Hey Sierra, aren't you gonna join us?"

Sierra's eyes widened to dish-size.

"Yeah, Sierra!"

"Come on, Sierra!"

"Yes, yes!

"Come on up here!"

Sierra turned to Devin.

"What're you waiting for, sis? Get over there," Devin smiled.

"Yeah, go ahead," Carrie smiled.

Sierra turned back around, gulped, and began to walk forward. She only stopped briefly to turn back towards Devin and smile.

"Thanks, bro."

Devin smiled and hugged Carrie.

Sierra turned back around and approached the TD Kids.

Next thing she knew, she was hoisted up in the air by the Kids. The crowd cheered even louder.

"To-tal Dra-ma! To-tal Dra-ma!"

Sierra looked down at Sam and nodded.

Sam nodded back.

Sierra smiled bigger than she ever had before. She brought the whole TD gang back together again, and now she finally gets to be a real Kid.

She couldn't be any happier.

* * *

Rodney played a few notes on his piano.

Ennui turned around, "Hm? Oh! How charming, a finale."

He went to join the others.

Sam smiled as he and the others walked down the red carpet.

 _Sam: Everything is great_

 _Dakota: Everything is grand_

 _Sierra: We've got the whole wide world in the palm of our hands_

 _Devin: Everything is perfect_

 _Carrie: It's falling into place_

 _Ennui: I can't seem to wipe this smile off my face_

 _Penguins: (Honking) Life's a happy song_

 _Justin, Topher, Ellody and Mary: When there's someone by your side_

 _Courtney, Lindsay and Beth: To sing along_

"Yeah," Rodney picked up the tempo.

 _Devin: Everything is great_

 _We'll live happily ever after_

 _Cody: And we'll keep giving the world the third greatest gift..._

 _Owen: Laughter!_

Tammy Suggs played her noise-a-phone.

 _Tammy Suggs: The story's almost over_

 _It's time to say so long!_

Chris McLean walked by and glared.

"Would you please stop singing?! You've already sung this song!"

 _Tyler Zealand, Don Adora and Swedish Sugar: Life's a happy song_

 _Brody and Noah: When there's someone by your side_

 _The Electric Mayhem: To sing along!_

"We're happier when you _don't_ sing!," Gerry yelled. He and Pete chuckled.

 _Girls: We've got everything that we need_

 _We can be whatever we wanna be_

 _Boys: Nothing we can't do_

 _Sam: The skies are blue when it's me and you and you and you and you and you and you and you and- -_

"Well, all of you! Yeah!"

 _All: La la la la la la la la la la la la la la_

 _La la la la la la la la la la la la la la_

"Hey, remember me? I'm Jack Black!"

Jack Black (Still tied to a chair) was being carried away by the hobos.

"What are you doing? No no no! Put me back down. Put me down!"

"All hail the hobo king," one of the hobos said.

 _All: We've got everything that we need_

 _We can be whatever we wanna be_

 _Nothing we can't do_

 _The skies are blue when it's me and you and you and you!_

 _Brody and Noah: Life's a happy song_

 _Ryan: When there's someone by your side to sing..._

 _Courtney, Lindsay and Beth: Life's a happy song_

 _Ellody: When there's someone by your side to sing..._

 _Devin, Carrie, Sam, Dakota and Sierra: Life's a happy song_

 _All: When there's someone..._

 _Lindsay: Someone..._

 _Swedish Sugar: (Swedish) Someone..._

 _All: By your side..._

 _To sing along!_

 _Sierra: (Whistles)_

 ** _THE END_**

* * *

"I just have one question I need to ask you."

Carrie watched as Devin got down on one knee.

"Will you, Carrie, _marry me?_ "

Devin pulled out a small black box with a ring inside.

Carrie smiled.

 _Carrie: Mahna Mahna_

 _(Do do do do do)_

 _MM: Mahna Mahna_

 _(Do do do do)_

 _Emily Blunt: Mahna Mahna_

* * *

"You're breaking the law! I own that name!," Chris McLean yelled.

Izzy walked up and swung her arm around with the bowling ball.

"Hey guys, I think I've finally worked out how to- -Whoa!"

The ball slipped out of her fingers and hit Chris McLean right in the stomach, knocking him over and then hit his head on a trash can.

" 'Oil' bet that hurt!," Owen laughed.

Chris got up, smiling like an idiot, and started laughing for the first time in his entire life.

* * *

 **This just in: McLean gives back TD theatre and name! Change of heart, nothing to do with head injury.**

* * *

 _Chris McLean: Mahna Mahna_

 _(Do do do do do)_

 _Jack Black: (Struggling) Mahna Mahna!_

 _(Do do do do)_

 _Selena Gomez: Mahna Mahna_

* * *

"Hey, McLean! We had a deal!," Dakoota yelled as she and the other Teens ran after the oil barren.

"Yeah, for reallies!," Tayloor yelled.

"Yeah, you owe us money, man. What the wocka?," Owoon yelled.

* * *

 _Anger Management Teacher: Mahna Mahna!_

 _(Do do do do do)_

 _Tour Guide: Mahna Mahna_

 _(Do do do do)_

* * *

 **Breaking news: Dakota Milton promises to stay out of the limelight. Sam says, "We need some time alone."**

* * *

"Oh, Sam, I'm so happy!," Dakota pulled Sam to the front door of their house, "Let's share our happiness with ten of the world's largest news publications!"

She opened the door, revealing several people with cameras.

" _How's the quiet life,_ _Sam?_ "

" _Small! Milton!_ "

" _How are you enjoying your time alone?_ "

Sam shut the door.

"Dakota!"

* * *

 _Punch Teacher Host: Mahna Mahna!_

 _(Do do do do do)_

 _Veronica: Mahna Mahna_

 _(Do do do do)_

 _Carrie: Mahna Mahna_

 _(Do do do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do, do do do do do do)_

 _Devin: Mahna Mahna_

* * *

 **Total Drama**


End file.
